


All That Glitters

by peglegMeglikeskegs



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Be Careful What You Wish For, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Crazy Tony Stark, Drama, Drinking, Emotional Hurt, Fairy Godmother Nick Fury, Gen, Lifestyle Of The Rich And The Famous, Magic, New York City, Regret, Rich Life, Romance, Selfish Bucky, Slutty Bucky, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, city, greedy, new life, reckless, sad Steve Rogers, wish fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2018-09-26 04:25:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9862523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peglegMeglikeskegs/pseuds/peglegMeglikeskegs
Summary: Bucky liked his life.His family was great (besides a slightly obnoxious little sister) he got decent grades in school and he had an amazing and gorgeous boyfriend.But.And there's always a but.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I did not create nor do I own any of the characters in the story!

Bucky liked his life.

His family was great (besides a slightly obnoxious little sister) he got decent grades in school and he had an amazing and gorgeous boyfriend.

But.

And there's always a but.

He wanted more. More clothes, more shoes, more space in his family’s apartment, more everything. And it all boils down to having more money - something that Bucky desired most of all.

But it wasn't like he was dirt poor - Bucky lived in a two-bedroom apartment with his parents and sister in Brooklyn. His dad has had the same job for years, which is a good thing. Bucky shouldn't be frustrated that he chose job security over a career in which he could advance. Or be annoyed that his mom choose the stay-at-home route and didn't have a job.

Of course it meant that Bucky had to get a part-time job that he absolutely hated. Working in fast food was a guaranteed terrible job, but the long hours and string of awful bosses made it much worse for him. But if Bucky wanted any spending money for himself he needed the job.

And he wanted to buy food and flowers and art supplies for his boyfriend, Steve Rogers.

They started as friends until they both realized that they were incredibly in love with each other. Ever since that day (where Steve tripped over his words until Bucky seized his face and kissed him) life has been something out of a dream for Bucky. Steve was wonderful - whip-smart, compassionate enough to earn him a spot in heaven, so handsome that Bucky's heart flipped every time he saw him, and sweeter than candy.

Steve was everything to Bucky, and he wanted to show how much he loved him. But for now it just meant giving Steve his favorite candy bar (Snickers) or grabbing a chocolate milkshake at the end of his shift.

"Aw Buck, you shouldn't have!" Steve grins as Bucky presents him with a milkshake at their spot in Prospect Park. After a hectic lunch shift Bucky was relieved to see his boyfriend sitting at the bench that, in his own words, has the best lighting and contrast at all times of the day. It's apparently a big deal, but Bucky doesn't understand anything about art. Steve is a fantastic artist, and Bucky usually wants nothing more than to sit on the bench next to him and watch him sketch.

"I'd buy you a hundred chocolate milkshakes to make you happy." Bucky claimed as he pulled a burger out of the to-go bag he brought along. "Did I miss anything in school today?"

"No, I grabbed your notes for you." Steve pulled a folder out of his backpack with a disapproving frown. "I still don't see why you had to work during school. Isn't that illegal?"

"Zola doesn't care." Bucky muttered darkly as he quickly scanned the notes. "He said I'd have to take the shift or I'd get fired."

"It's still not good. You should look for a new job. Or not even work, we have to think about college applications next year."

Bucky rolled his eyes as he dug into his burger. "I need a job Steve. Who else would buy you milkshakes?"

Steve pursed his lips, which Bucky knew he was trying to be serious but holding back a grin. "You don't have to buy me stuff Buck. I don't need anything."

Bucky knew Steve wasn't trying to sound condescending but it didn't matter. All that Bucky heard was how he couldn't afford to buy Steve anything, and it hurt his pride.

He didn't snap at Steve but he also didn't reply, taking an angry bite of his burger instead.

"Hey don't be mad at me." Steve said. He put his arm around Bucky's shoulders and pulled him in tight. "You know I still think you're great no matter how much money you have."

"Stop reading my mind," Bucky replied. He tried to sound irritated but Steve was now smushing their faces together. "Steve stop."

"I can't help myself. Your face is so smushable."

Bucky laughed as Steve rubbed his face on Bucky's and peppered him with light kisses, becoming more insistent as Bucky tried to push him away. But if they weren't sitting on a bench with other people walking around he'd pull Steve closer and return those kisses with fervor. Even so he finally managed to hold Steve’s face in his own and plant a deep kiss on his lips. When Bucky pulled away Steve looked blissfully happy, his blue eyes twinkling.

"Did I miss anything else at school today?" Bucky asked, letting Steve go so he could pick up his sketch pad but still keeping one arm around his shoulders.

"Brock was pissing Natasha off so Clint got in a fight with him." Steve picked up his pencil and resumed his drawing. "And somehow Sam got in trouble too, even though he didn't do anything. They all got suspended for two days."

Bucky grit his teeth. "Brock is an asshole. I still don't know why you ever dated him."

Steve snorted. "You and me both. You could say I've upgraded since then." Bucky smiled widely at his boyfriend. "Or maybe it was a lateral move.”

"Oh you wound me Rogers!" Bucky held his hand over his heart. "You know my tongue is top of the line!"

"Subpar at most," Steve countered absentmindedly, not looking away from his drawing.

Bucky leaned in close to Steve's ear. "That's not what you said last week." He kept his voice low and rough, and grinned when an involuntary shudder ran through Steve. Bucky kissed his cheek and leaned back, satisfied at the blush gracing his boyfriend's face and neck.

"Speaking of your tongue, are you free tomorrow night? Mom is working the night shift and I'll have the apartment to myself."

Bucky groaned. "I wish. But my parents are going out and I have to watch Becca."

"You can bring her if you want." Steve offered. "We can just watch movies and eat popcorn. I haven't seen her in a while."

Bucky shook his head, bunching up his garbage. "No, I gotta watch her at our apartment. Last time we were at your place she had nightmares from that scary movie."

"But Harry Potter isn't scary!"

"Dude, no need to tell me."

Steve sighed and packed up his bag.  “Well I know me coming over is out of the question, right?”

Bucky tensed up at Steve’s question, the casual tone making him clench his jaw.  Steve is oh so aware of Bucky’s issues with money and status and he knows that Bucky doesn’t like having Steve over.  But Steve will never force the issue, only asking if he can come over even though he knows the answer is no.  It makes Bucky embarrassed and grateful and guilty all at the same time.

“Nah, Becca and I will probably watch a unicorn movie and go to bed early.”

Steve nods knowingly and checks his watch.  "I should get home anyway, I think my mom is making meatloaf. Walk with me?"

Bucky shot up and grabbed Steve's hand. "Always."

The pair walked back, swinging their hands between them. Steve went on about his day, talking animatedly about his art class and ongoing projects. He didn't need any prompts from Bucky - he would talk all day about art if he could. And Bucky would listen to Steve talk all day, see his eyes light up and his hands wave around fervently. Seeing him so passionate made Bucky swell with pride and affection.

"Bucky look out!"

Steve yanking on his hand brought Bucky back to reality and he almost made the fatal mistake of walking into oncoming traffic.

A limo had pulled forward and stopped, the door directly in front of Bucky and Steve. The window rolled down and a young man, probably eighteen, with brown hair, a goatee and rose-tinted glasses looked at the boys.

"You should probably look where you're going next time."

The obvious arrogance radiating from this guy, and not to mention the rush of almost being hit by a limo, caused Bucky to go from shocked to straight-up furious.

"What's your deal man?!" He shot at the guy. "Maybe you should have your driver watch where he's going, huh?? I'm a pedestrian, hit me and I'll sue your ass."

"Bucky, stop." Steve hissed as he tried to pull him away.

"No! Just because he has money doesn't mean he can do whatever he wants!"

"Actually, I can." And the guy pulled out his wallet, opened it up and actually showed Bucky the wads of bills he had in there. "Feel free to steal it, I have billions more back home. And go ahead and get hit by the limo, the settlement won't even put a dent in my bank account."

Before Bucky could even reply the guy put his wallet down and nodded forward. The limo began to pull away, but not before the sole occupant smiled and winked.

Bucky cursed.  "The nerve of that guy! I swear to god if I ever see him again...what, why are you glaring at me?"

Steve was giving Bucky an impressive glare, and walked past him without answering.

"Hey Steve, wait!" Bucky had to run to catch up to his boyfriend. "Are you mad at me?"

"Why do you always have to be so weird about money?" Steve asked him. His face was set in a frown and he didn't look at Bucky.

"I'm not weird with money." Bucky automatically replied, defensive without even trying.

"Bullshit!" Steve's heated exclamation surprised Bucky and he stopped walking. Steve halted too and turned to face him. "If that was some taxi or another regular person you wouldn't have blinked an eye.  But since it was some rich snob you had to get all pissy. Were you really upset because he almost hit you or because he was rich?"

Bucky opened his mouth but found he couldn't answer. The first thing he had noticed about the rich jerk, besides the stretch limo he rode in, was his styled hair and expensive clothes. He looked cleaned up, and Bucky envied that. That guy clearly didn't have a care in the world and didn't care about the world, all because he has money to spend as he pleases.

Why can't Bucky have that kind of money? He'd put it to good use, way better than that guy. And Bucky hasn't done a single thing wrong in his life, he deserves to have a lot of money.

But he can't tell Steve this. He knows how obsessive Bucky is with his money and it's already taken a few tolls on their relationship. If Steve could only see how Bucky would spend his money, maybe he wouldn't be so quick to judge.

For now, Bucky'll apologize. And maybe one day he can prove that he only means well.

"I'm sorry." Bucky said earnestly. "I lost my temper and was acting like a fool."

Steve sighed. "It's ok. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you. It's just," he turned his sad eyes on Bucky, making Bucky’s heart jolt. "I wish you wouldn't be so obsessive with money. You have more wealth than you think, but you just can't see it."

Bucky let Steve's words sink in. Yeah he probably did have a lot more than others. But he can't help this feeling that makes him want every last dollar in Earth. He knows that if he was actually rich, he'd be happy. Money can buy happiness, right?

But it wasn't worth arguing with Steve right now. He just didn't get it.

"Oh what, do you think your dick is made of gold or something Stevie?" Bucky teased in a light voice.

Steve squeaked and turned bright red. "Bucky! There are kids everywhere!"

"I don't see any," Bucky countered. He grabbed Steve's hand and started to pull him down an alleyway. "And there certainly aren't any kids here either." He wrapped his arms around Steve and started leaving kisses on his neck.

"Bucky, I'm not gonna kiss you in a gross alley." Steve admonished, but he tilted his head back and let himself be pressed against the brick wall.

"That didn't stop you last time." Bucky whispered in his ear before moving to his face. Steve's arms tightened around Bucky and he enthusiastically met his lips with Bucky's. Bucky responded in kind, pressing Steve flat against the wall and trailing his hands down Steve's side.

"Bucky," Steve gasped as he pulled away. "I'm serious."

"You don't sound it."

Steve moaned but finally placed his hand over Bucky's heart and pushed him away. Bucky was sure Steve would feel his erratic heartbeat, and would bet money that Steve was just as excited.

"Another time," Steve said, his breath slowly returning to normal. "I promise."

"I'll hold you to it." Bucky replied, stepping back to let Steve step away from the wall. But he still caught his smiling boyfriend in a quick kiss before holding his hand and leading him home.

By the time they reached Steve's building Bucky had latched himself onto Steve's arm, already not looking forward to having to say goodbye.

"Buck I gotta go." Steve said gently. But Bucky just tightened his grip. "You know you can always join me and my mom for dinner."

"As much as I'd love to see the beautiful Sarah Rogers, I think my mom is making dinner and wondering where I am." Bucky regrettably released Steve's arm but pulled him in a tight hug. "I'll give you a call later, okay?"

"Okay Bucky." Steve returned the hug, burying his nose in Bucky's hair. "I love you James."

Bucky wrinkled his nose against Steve's shoulder. "I love you too, punk."

Steve stepped out of Bucky's embrace but tousled his hair with his hand. "Jerk." Before Bucky could respond Steve moved his hand to gently cup Bucky's chin and pull him in for a sweet kiss. He let Bucky go and turned towards the building's door, but not going in without smiling over his shoulder at Bucky.

A small feeling of loneliness crept over Bucky, but the warmth of Steve's embrace kept it at bay for now. He turned and walked the few blocks to his home, keeping his hands in his pocket and his eyes on the ground.

When he stepped inside his apartment, his mom was finishing dinner and his dad setting the tiny pull-out table.

"Hey Bucky, how was school?" His dad asked with a smile.

"Uh, it was pretty good." He managed to take off his sneakers without bumping his elbow into the wall or stumbling into the table that jutted in his way. "Nothing too crazy or whatever."

"That's good," his mother replied from the even smaller kitchen, which was really just a single counter, fridge, and ancient oven cramped into the corner. "How's Steve?"

 Bucky smiled towards her. "He's good, just working on his senior projects."

"Did he want to come over for dinner?" His mom asked worriedly. "I know Sarah works a lot of nights and I'd feel terrible if he was all alone."

"No, his mom is home." Bucky replied.  He couldn’t help the frustration and embarrassment, trying to picture Steve joining his family at their cramped table. "And it's not like we have the space for another dinner guest."

"James, don't take that tone with your mother." His father said sternly.

Bucky clenched his jaw but didn't say anything. he shouldn’t have gotten irritated with his parents, but it was the truth wasn’t it?

"Dinner will be ready in about ten minutes, will you go get your sister?"

He nodded at his mother’s question and made his way to their shared bedroom. He hated sharing with his sister - she was a nine year old girl who loved everything unicorns and rainbow, and waking up to that every morning was not what Bucky wanted. Even if none of her pictures made it to his side of the room, it was impossible for some of the glitter to not get in his clothes.

"Hey Becca, dinner is in 10." Bucky said as he entered the room. Two beds pushed tight against opposite walls, one bedside table to share and plastic tubs hidden below each bed for clothes. It was a cramped space and Bucky loathed it.

"Look Bucky! I made another drawing!" Becca held up a piece of paper with a rainbow-stripped unicorn underneath yet another rainbow.

"Wow Becca, that looks great!" Despite having to share a small room with his kid sister, Bucky loved Becca. She was sweet, innocent and kind. She reminded him a lot of Steve and sometimes finds himself fortunate that he knows two amazing and wonderful people in his life.

"Do you want it?" Becca offered him the paper, glitter already falling off it.

"Of course I would," Bucky answered. He already had dozens of similar pictures, but he couldn’t turn down her eager and adorable face. “I'm gonna get some air."

Becca nodded and scurried over to gingerly place the picture on Bucky's pillow. He smiled at her (somewhat forced as he watched the glitter already falling onto his pillow) and left their room.

Bucky opened the window at the end of the hallway and climbed out onto the fire escape. It was the one spot just for him - his parents knew to let him be when he was there and Becca was too young to get up and out the window. But Bucky sometimes just needed a place to escape and think.

And of course, his mind usually wandered to money. And how great it would be to have money. And what he could buy and give to people if he just had enough money.

Bucky wondered what that jerk in the limo was up to.  Where was he going?  Did he have some fancy museum gala or party to attend?  How much money did he really have?  The taunting face was stuck in Bucky’s head and a wave of fury washed over him as he imagined what shenanigans he go into.

Is that what rich people did?  Make fun of those less than them and zoom of into the sunset in their stretch limos?

Bucky shook his head to repel those unsavory thoughts and focused on a favorite daydream of his – living in a penthouse apartment in the Upper East Side with Steve.  He had money, fame, and adoring fans.  But what was best was Steve standing by his side, finally realizing what Bucky would do with his money and how much happier he was.  Everything was perfect.

A beep from his phone interrupted his fantasy, and Bucky scanned the incoming text. It was from Zola, telling Bucky he had to work the morning shift tomorrow or else.

Bucky wanted to scream as reality came crashing down. First, he doesn't work morning shifts, mainly because he'd have to get up at 4am just to get to work on time. Second, he has school for Christ's sake. And third, he doesn't fucking want to work the morning shift.

He locked his phone with a huff, glaring over the metal railing.  He wishes he could quit his stupid job, he wishes his parents had better jobs (or a job) so he wouldn't have to share a bedroom with his parents, and he wishes he just had some god damn money.

"I can help you with that."

Bucky jumped out of his skin and turned to his left. An older, African American bald man was sitting right next to him, giving Bucky a stern look with his eyes.

Well one eye, seeing how he had an eyepatch over his left eye.

"Who the hell are you?!" Bucky asked, his heart racing.

"I'm the guy who can help you with your problems." The man replied. His voice was gruff and he had a no-nonsense attitude.

"Like how, are you going to kill me?" Bucky asked, trying not to let the fear be evident in his voice.

The man just gave him a look. "No Bucky, I'm not going to kill you."

"H-how do you know my name?"

The man rolled his eyes (eye?).  "I know everything about you Bucky, like I said I can help you with your money problems."

Bucky didn't reply, still on edge with this stranger just sitting on his fire escape.

The man exhaled an annoyed sigh. "Look, if it makes you feel better your family doesn’t know that I'm out here because they can't see me."

Bucky's eyes widened and he impulsively looked back into his apartment. He of course didn't see their faces staring out at him. A sudden eerie feeling washed over Bucky, like his apartment was empty of his parents or sister. He looked back at the stranger sitting next to him.

"Who are you, what do you want with me?"

The man cursed under his breath and shook his head. Bucky swore he heard him utter "deaf incompetent fool" before the man spoke up. "I told you, I'm here to help. You have a money problem, you think about it all the time. And I can make that problem go away."

"Wait, are you like my fairy godmother?" Bucky asked with a smile.

The man gave Bucky an outraged look. "Do I look like a goddamn fairy godmother to you?!"

"No no, I'm sorry." Bucky said hastily. "It was just a joke, and you haven't told me your name yet!"

The man glared at Bucky. "Just call me Nick."

"Okay Nick, well how can you help me?"

The stranger named Nick took a few calming breaths before speaking. "I can give you everything you want. Money, a big apartment, parents with high-paying jobs - that is what you want right?"

Bucky nodded eagerly, barely able to contain himself. "More than anything in the world."

Nick's good eye stared at Bucky intently. "Are you certain? Once I grant your wish you can't go back."

Bucky paused before answering, taking a moment to think. But all that came to mind was his small apartment, old clothes and Steve's face. Steve, who deserved so much more than what Bucky could give him.

So he nodded firmly. "Of course."

"Okay, now hold still."

"Hold sti-" But before he could finish Nick's finger touched Bucky's forehead and he passed out instantly.


	2. Chapter 2

Bucky regained consciousness with a pounding headache. His eyes were still closed, but his head was killing him.

He groaned and stretched, but instead of feeling the cold hard bars of the fire escape it was a soft bed.

Great, his dad probably saw him passed out outside and brought him in like a child. It would take ages before he could convince his parents that he would be responsible enough to go back out there.

Bucky opened his eyes but was still met with darkness. What the hell? Did that Nick guy blind him? He reached his hands up and found a cloth material stretched over his eyes. He fumbled with it before finally pulling it away.

And felt his heart stop.

He was not in the bedroom that he shares with Becca. No, he was in an enormous and ornate bedroom. Dark wood paneled the walls, with marble furniture with red and black accents placed in the room. Large windows were partially covered with deep red drapes, letting in enough light for Bucky to realize that this was definitely not his room.

He took in the large armchair situated by the windows, the grand desk holding the expensive computer and the open door leading to another room. Utterly confused he glanced down to his hands, seeing the cloth that covered his eyes was really a black eye mask with his initials, JBB, embroidered in red.

Well that answered the question that yes, this was eye mask.  But it didn't answer the question of whose room he's in, or where this room is located.

Bucky scrambled out of the bed and made way for the desk. He sat in the plush desk chair and turned on the computer. It was password protected, but he tried his failsafe password he used for everything.

S-T-E-V-E

The computer came to life, but a picture of Bucky on a yacht with a group of people was his background.

Okay, Bucky was pretty sure this was his room. But where was he?!  And what the hell was going on?!

A knock at the door startled Bucky and a woman wearing a maid's outfit stepped inside.

"Master James, you're going to be late for school."

Okay, a strange lady just entered his room and called him James.  Master James.  What the actual hell is going on?

"Uh," Bucky really wasn't sure what to say. But the maid just stepped further into the room and opened the drapes.

"It's a brisk day so I've laid out your sweater instead of just the shirt. Your clothes are in your closet, and I've made a breakfast to go. You have to leave here in five minutes or you'll be late."

Without another word the maid left the room, leaving Bucky to sit at his desk and wonder what universe he entered and how did he get here.

He stood up and cautiously made his way to the door. He walked into an ensuite bathroom, complete with a waterfall shower and jacuzzi bathtub.

So the Bucky in this reality had nice taste.

He paused by the sink and looked in the mirror. Yup it was his face staring back at him. Just not his life.

_I can make your money problem go away._

Bucky gasped as Nick's voice floated into his head. Did his wish really come true? Was his family loaded now?!

There was another door past the shower, and Bucky quickly stepped through. He laughed incredulously when he saw the spectacle before him. Clothes lined the walls, with a small red armchair in the middle. A ceiling-to-floor dominated the right side of the room, with shelves of watches and shoes on the left.

So. Many. Clothes.

Bucky couldn't help the stupid grin on his face. He had money! This was amazing! Look at all of the clothes he had! This was everything he wanted, and he was only in his closet! He could only wonder gleefully what the rest of his new apartment look like.

Next to the mirror an outfit was hanging on a rack. Tan slacks, a white shirt and a black sweater were waiting to be worn. Bucky examined the sweater and saw a blood red octopus over the letters Hydra embroidered onto the sweater pocket.

Huh. He must go to some school named Hydra now or something. Come to think of it, Bucky remembered looking up private schools in New York and saw this listed under multiple "Best Of" lists.

But this school was way over on the Upper East Side, across the Brooklyn Bridge to where Bucky lived.

Or used to live.

He sprinted back through his bathroom and halted in front of his windows. His jaw dropped.

His bedroom windows faced right out to Central Park. The sprawling green reached left and right, and it would seem that Bucky's apartment is smack-dab in the middle.

He laughed at the sight. Nick did it. He really made Bucky's wish come true.

A knock on his door made him turn away. "Master James are you ready, the limo is waiting."

Limo!?

"Uh, just a second!" He raced back to his closet, quickly pulled on his clothes and ties the shoes set out for him and ran back to his bedroom. He opened the door to the now-nervous looking maid.

"All set." He said with a smile. "Uh, do you know where my backpack is?"

The maid blanched and quickly scurried into the room. "It has to be in here somewhere!" She muttered before finally pulling a briefcase off the desk.  ( _A briefcase? Jeez what kind of school do I go to?_   Bucky wondered to himself.) "Ah ha, here you go Master James. I'll get you breakfast and lunch and meet you by the door."

Bucky watched her bustle away with a frown. She seemed awfully nervous and scared once Bucky asked her a question. Was that normal?

He shrugged and grabbed his briefcase before walking into the hallway. His shoes made a clipping noise on the marble floors, the sound echoing off the walls and ceiling. Pillars lined the walls and he gazed at the paintings and murals around him.

So his parents had money too. They must've gotten good jobs or something. Nick is two for two with this whole wish thing.

"Master James." Another voice broke Bucky from his admiration and he turned to find a bald man in a tuxedo staring at him.

What was with all this Master James stuff?

"Aren't you supposed to be leaving for school soon?"

"Uh yeah." Bucky answered. "But I was waiting for my breakfast and lunch from..."

The man scoffed and shook his head. "That terrible Wanda, always running behind. Wanda!" He bellowed down the hallway. The woman rounded the corner and hustled forward, carrying a bag in one hand and a smaller bag with a coffee thermos in another.

"Here you go Master James," she said breathlessly, casting a terrified glance at the older man glaring at her. "Have a good day at school."

"That'll be enough Wanda. Begin your chores for the day."  His harsh voice made Bucky frown but before he could say anything the maid now known as Wanda turned and walked away.

The man glared after her before returning to Bucky. "Now Master James, it's off to school. Your car is waiting."

"Uh right." Bucky was still shaken by the events that transpired but he turned and walked away.

"Master James, the elevator is that way." Bucky blushed and turned a sheepish grin towards the confused bald man.

"Of course, I was just testing you!" The man's face looked more bewildered but Bucky quickly walked to the direction of the elevator.

He pressed the call button and stepped inside the roomy elevator. The ground floor button lit up as he pressed it, and he couldn't help but wiggle in excitement. The elevator opened to their apartment! To their ginormous apartment!

This was absolutely everything that Bucky wanted. And as he stepped out of the elevator and walked to the exit, the sight of the limo waiting for him was just as incredible.

"Mr. Barnes," the doorman said as he opened the door for Bucky. He nodded in return, trying to take everything in stride. He stepped outside and found himself on 5th Ave. City traffic bustled past him, but a limo stood waiting for him, the driver standing by the passenger door.

"Master James," the man said. "Ready for school?"

Bucky nodded and smiled at him. He slid in and relaxed into his seat. Setting his coffee cup in the cup holder and his briefcase on the seat next to him, Bucky stretched his legs and sighed contentedly.

Oh yeah, he could get used to this.

He should send a picture to Steve.

Steve Rogers. Where was his boyfriend?  Usually he is the first thought Bucky has every morning.  But today may be considered an exception, seeing how he woke up in a life that was entirely different from his own.

Bucky quickly reached into his jacket pocket and thankfully found his phone. But it wasn't his old phone, it was the newest iPhone model, also password protected.

He typed in Steve's name and breathed in relief when it unlocked. But his background picture wasn't of him and Steve as it was on his old phone. He quickly pulled up his messages and found conversations with people he didn't recognize.

Why wasn't the Bucky in this universe talking to Steve? That is something that should be done all the time, no excuses.

He tapped into his contacts but was dumbfounded to not see Steve's name listed. No Steve Rogers with a little emoji heart next to his name or anything.

But since Bucky is a good friend and even better boyfriend he had Steve's number memorized and quickly dialed it.

" _The number you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please try again later_."

Speechless, Bucky hung up. He stared down at his phone, not really sure what to do. Something was wrong, really wrong.  

And idea popped into his head quickly and he acted before thinking.

"Uh, excuse me?" Bucky called tentatively. The screen between the front and back lowered and the driver met Bucky's eyes in the rear view mirror.

"Yes Master James?" He asked calmly.

"We need to go to Brooklyn. Will you take me there?"

The driver looked surprised. "But sir, you have class..."

"It doesn't matter. Take me to Brooklyn - Prospect Ave specifically."

The driver looked like he wanted to protest but he only nodded and raised the screen again.

Bucky leaned back and watched the scenery pass by. He was excited with his newfound wealth, but he felt uneasy from no contact with Steve. He can't even believe that he almost forgot about his boyfriend and best friend. Bucky hopes nothing happen to Steve and he's, God forbid, not around anymore.

 _He used to have a lot of health problems_ , Bucky thought frantically.  _Maybe for some reason his issues are much worse in this universe_.  The unease blossomed into panic as Bucky tried (and failed) to calm himself down.

As the limo drove over the Brooklyn Bridge a soothing feeling relaxed the worrying thoughts in Bucky's head. He took in familiar sights and smiled. This was his home, even if he didn't live there anymore. It would always be home, and he was going to find some answers here.

They passed Prospect Park and Bucky had the sudden urge to walk through here, not show up in a limo.

"Hey, you can stop here and let me out." Bucky called to the front. "I want to get out."

The limo slowed down and pulled off to the side, and Bucky got out before the driver could open his door.

"Shall I meet you somewhere sir? Maybe in a half hour?"

"Uh yeah sure," Bucky said over his shoulder. "I'll call you."

The driver nodded and returned to the limo, pulling back into traffic. Bucky walked down the side of the road, instinctively heading towards his old school, S.H.I.E.L.D High. He was only a few blocks out and it was still before the bell so maybe he could find Steve and figure out what the hell was happening.

A familiar figure ahead on the street made Bucky laugh with relief.

"Clint! Hey Clint man!" Bucky jogged forward and met up with his high school friend. "Clint, how're you doing?"

Clint looked at him, but it didn't look like Clint. He had a hard glint in his eyes but as soon as he saw Bucky he smiled.

"Well well, James Barnes. Long time no see."

Bucky laughed. "Dude you know I don't go by James."

"Do I?" Clint asked. He was still smiling, but it looked wrong. It was menacing and leering and the second Bucky recognized it he realized he was in trouble.

"Hey man, look who's here! It's James Barnes!" Clint called to a figure behind Bucky. A hand gripped Bucky's shoulder and spun him around.

"Oh wow, we got Mr. Big Shot in town!" Brock Rumlow sneered down at Bucky. "What's the occasion, teaching us low-life's how to get rich quick?"

Bucky snarled and tried to escape Brock's grip. "Get the hell out of my way, Rumlow."

"Oh, such foul language from someone so respectable. Even if that's a load of horseshit." He put his other hand on Bucky's shoulder and forcibly pushed him into a wall. "Tell me, do they really teach you how to suck dick at your school, or do you really have to have after-school lessons with the teacher?"

Clint laughed loudly, making Bucky glare at his former friend. He wasn't sure what the hell they were talking about but he could understand an insult when he heard one.

"Clearly they're not teaching you how to use less hair gel, Rumlow." Bucky replied scathingly. "Even though we all know you'd do anything to cover up your bald spot."

"You fucking asshole." The first punch hit Bucky in the stomach and he barely had time to react before he was getting hit again and again. He tried to fight back but the punches and kicks were just too much. He sagged against the wall, Brock’s arm tight against his neck keeping Bucky from crumbling to the ground.

"Hey what the hell are you doing?"

The punches stopped immediately and Brock removed his arm from Bucky's windpipe. He collapsed and breathed in a rush of air, nearly retching.  Bucky held himself on all fours, trying to get air back into his lungs.

"Are you an idiot? If the cops see you guys fighting you'll get arrested. Again."

"Aw c’mon it wasn't anything serious. We were just welcoming Barnes back into the neighborhood, right Clint?"

"Of course. No harm, no foul."

"James?"

Bucky looked up and nearly cried with relief. Steve was standing there, looking past Brock and Clint and right at Bucky.

"Steve," Bucky croaked with relief. He stood quickly and tried to step forward but Clint's arm stopped him.

"Don't take another step, man." Brock said, turning his attention back to Bucky.

"Excuse me?" Bucky spat.

"You heard him," Clint said harshly. He pushed Bucky back against the wall.

"Guys enough." Steve said wearily. "Just get to class, I'll talk to him. And no fighting, okay?" He spoke the last line directly to Brock, who only rolled his eyes and laughed.

"I only do it to rile you up." He replied lightly.

"Well it works." Steve grumbled. But Bucky could tell he was trying not to smile.

Wait a minute.

"Will I see you at lunch, or are you going to be a nerd and eat in the art room?"

"I have to work on my portfolio, so yes. But that doesn't mean you can skip out for the afternoon. You're still walking me home."

Hold the phone.

"Yeah yeah whatever." And Brock came forward and planted a rough kiss on Steve's lips.

What.

The actual.

Fuck.

Brock pulled back and slapped Steve’s cheek endearingly.  Steve looked annoyed but a smile danced on his lips.  "Later babe." Brock called. He sent a devilish grin to Bucky and turned away. Clint stepped in besides him.

"Clint give James his wallet back." Steve called exasperatedly. Clint scowled and tossed a leather wallet over his shoulder before stepping around the corner.

Bucky didn't reach to pick up the wallet. He just stood there, gaping like an idiot.  He felt sick.  No, way worse.

What was worse than feeling sick?  And more importantly, what the hell was going on?

Steve eventually reached down and grabbed the wallet, straightening up and handing it to Bucky.

"So what are you doing here?" He asked in a cool voice.

"Uh." Well Bucky was here to figure out what had happened between him and Steve, but that answer is pretty clear. So Bucky decided to lay it all out.

"Okay look, yesterday I was living my normal life where I lived in Brooklyn and went to school at S.H.I.E.L.D. and a terrible part time job but we were together and in love, and I woke up this morning and everything changed but I have no idea what my life is anymore." Bucky sounded embarrassingly close to tears and he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Steve I have no idea what's going on but we apparently don't talk anymore and I can't think of anything worse than that."

Steve just looked at Bucky, his expression not changing. "If you're fucking with me-"

"I swear." Bucky interrupted desperately. "Please, I need all the help I can get."

Steve frowned, hesitating before answering. "Okay fine. But just so you'll go away and leave me alone."

Bucky nodded but felt another lump in his throat. "Steve what happened to us? It seems like you hate me."

"Next question." Steve answered harshly.

"But-"

"Next. Question." He repeated forcefully. "Or I'm going to class, I'm not kidding James."

"Ok ok." Bucky sighed. "I guess that's another thing - why is everyone calling me James? My nickname is Bucky."

Steve gave him a questioning look. "You haven't gone by that name in years." When Bucky gave him a confused look, Steve continued. "Okay, I’ll give you the condensed version because I have to go to class – your family lived in Brooklyn until your mom became US Attorney for Southern District of NY. But two years ago she became mayor -"

"Wait what?! My mom is the mayor?!" Bucky squeaked.

"Yeah," Steve replied impatiently. "She's getting ready to campaign for a second term. You moved to the Gracie Mansion with your parents, but I think you still have the apartment on 5th."

"Yeah! That's where I woke up today!"

"Yeah it's closer to Hydra, where you're going to school."

"Well what about my dad?" Bucky asked.

"He started BarnesTech, the global technology company, a year after your mom became US Attorney. But he had to move to the board because there was a lot of speculation that your mom was lenient about prosecuting the company or whatever."

"Huh." Bucky thought on that for a second. It would make sense but his dad wouldn't have done anything wrong in the first place, right?

"Yeah it was sketchy." Steve said flatly. "But your family still makes plenty of money so you don't have to worry about that."

"Oh god Steve, I know! You should've seen the apartment I woke up in today! I had a jacuzzi bath! And a waterfall shower! It was incredible! And-"

"Yeah, that's nice and all but I have to go to class. It's great to see that you haven't lost sight of what's most important to you." Steve's harsh voice stunned Bucky. He'd heard it before, but never directed at him.

"Steve," he began timidly. "What happ-"

"James I not going to talk about that!" Steve snapped. "Not now, now ever."

With that final snap Steve turned on his heel and walked away. Bucky stood, too shocked to move. The love of his life hated him, really hated him. Even though he had all this money.

He shook his head angrily and stalked off. Whatever, he'd talk to him later. Maybe actually buy him a hundred chocolate milkshakes so Steve could see that Bucky really cared about it. He'd prove it, just wait.


	3. Chapter 3

Bucky eventually found the limo waiting for him in the same place he was dropped off. The driver opened the door for him.

"To school sir?" He asked.

Bucky shook his head. He was too tired for school now. "Just take me home please."

"Gracie Mansion or to 5th?"

"5th."

"Very well sir." The driver closed the door after Bucky got in the limo. He saw his neglected coffee and breakfast, still waiting on the seat.

"Actually," Bucky called forward as the limo driver took his seat. "Could we stop for food somewhere, I'm starving."

"Certainly, sir. Should I call ahead and let them know to expect you?"

Bucky nodded, leaning back. He didn't really care where he went, still wrapped up in his thoughts. Steve really hated him. He hated him. Bucky thought it would affect him more, but he's not that upset. Maybe because he knows he can still win Steve back. He just needs time and money.  With both of those in abundance Bucky can finally prove to Steve that life is better with money and wealth.

"Master James," the drive called back through the speaker. "Mr. Stark will also be joining you for a late breakfast if that's alright."

"Who?" Bucky asked confused.

"The radical Tony Stark, your friend from school. You were going to go suit shopping later today but he's asked to join you now instead."

Well if it was one of Bucky's friends then who is he to say no? Maybe he can shed some more light on Bucky's life. "Yeah that sounds ok."

"Very well."

The limo stopped in front of an upscale restaurant on Lexington Ave. Bucky didn't even realize they reached their destination until the driver opened his door for him.

"Thanks," he muttered before stepping inside.

"Good morning Mr. Barnes," the Maître D' said as Bucky walked in. "Mr. Stark is waiting for you."

Bucky scanned the nearly empty dining room until his eyes fell on the one guy waving at him.

It was the smug stranger who almost hit him yesterday.

"You?!" Bucky nearly gasped as he stepped forward.

"Yes it's me, the great Tony Stark." The guy replied in a bored tone. "Next time tell me when you're playing hooky, yeah? I had to find out from Pierce."

"Pierce?" Bucky asked, still standing at the side of the table.

"Yeah, Headmaster Pierce. The one who-" Tony finally looked up from and saw Bucky standing there. "Ok while I'd love to try the whole Stand-While-You-Eat craze we have work to do so sit down. I already ordered your favorite."

"My favorite?" Bucky asked, finally sitting down.

As if on cue two waiters brought over plates of food and drinks. Another swooped in with a bottle of champagne, holding the bottle for Tony to examine.

"As much as I love Dom Perignon, it is a weekday and it's not even noon. So the Veuve Clicquot will do." He nodded and the waiter quickly popped the corked and poured the champagne into two glasses already half-full with orange juice.

Tony took the glasses and held one out to Bucky, who grabbed it meekly. "Cheers to drinking before noon." Tony said, clinking his glasses enthusiastically with Bucky's. He took a hasty gulp, swallowed and reached for one of the pastries.

Bucky just held his mimosa, still unclear of what exactly is happening. He was holding a glass of alcohol, despite being under the legal drinking age, and he was surrounded by pastries and muffins and tarts and croissants. Way too much food for two boys to eat.

And he was apparently friends with Tony Stark.

"As I was saying," Tony continued. "Headmaster Pierce was angry that you weren't in school today, but he'll tell you tonight.”

"What's tonight?" Bucky asked.

"Your mother's fundraiser." Tony replied. "Do you remember anything? God you should be going to class and learning how to remember stuff."

"Shut up," Bucky said before taking a sip of his drink. The bubbles tickled his nose but the drink was refreshing. "When did we meet?"

"Like two years ago when we went to Hydra." Tony said through a bite of a crème tart. "Are we reminiscing? I’m not nearly drunk enough for that."

"No. Just...something weird is happening. I don't remember anything about my life."

"Huh." Tony said, polishing off his tart. "Well...you know what helps jog your memory?"

"What?" Bucky asked quickly.

"Shopping!" Tony smiled and gestured to the table. "Eat up! We have suits to buy and wear only once!"

Bucky just stared at Tony eating and drinking. Is this what rich people do? Work their way through endless plates of pastries and bottomless glasses of mimosa?

Well Bucky's not one to complain. And he was starving.

By the time they finished eating both Tony and Bucky were a bit past tipsy.

"Okay, drunk shopping time!" Tony stood from the table and made his way to the door.

"Wait don't we need the check?" Bucky asked, giggling as he stumbled standing up.

Tony just waved his hand. "I put it on my tab, they'll bill me. Now come on!"

Bucky followed Tony out and got into the same limo. It was much more luxurious than Bucky's, but he didn't care about that right now. Tony was pouring him another glass of champagne as the limo pulled away from the curb.

This was the life that Bucky was missing out on. The booze was flowing freely and Bucky didn't have a care in the world. Tony had phoned ahead and ensured that the department store would be empty, leaving the boys free to shop alone.

Which shopping was a bit of an exaggeration, seeing how they ran around and shoved each other into displays.

Tony didn't seem to mind that Bucky didn't remember anything, even happily supplying him with some old stories.

"And then I walked in and you were in bed with all three blondes! It was incredible!"

"I did?!" Bucky laughed. "I hooked up with all of them in the same night?!"

"Yes you did, because you are a master!" Tony crowed. "And that wasn't even the best night in Sweden!"

Bucky laughed loudly, and both of them were just standing and laughing until the store manager reminded them that their appointment time was nearly ending and they hadn't tried on a single suit.

"C’mon, let's try on one suit and buy it in three colors." Tony said, still giggling. Bucky followed him to where some suits were already set aside for him.

"Mr. Barnes, you mother requested that you try on this suit with these shirts."

The male attendant gestured to a black fitted three-button suit. A white shirt, a red shirt and a black shirt were also hanging up with a variety of bows and ties to match.

"The fitting rooms are on your right." Bucky's eyes gazed down the attendant’s long arm and up to his face. He liked what he saw - blond, chiseled jaw and dark blue eyes.

"Wanna help me change?" He asked, putting on a sultry smile that was encouraged by the champagne coursing through his veins.

The man smiled, with a faint blush tinging his cheeks. "I'm working, you know it's against the rules."

"I do?" He asked, faking innocence. The return look of desire from the other man lit a fire deep in his belly, and Bucky winked, grabbing the man by the hand and pulling him into one of the dressing rooms.

After trying on some options (and spending more time making out with the hot attendant) Bucky left the dressing rooms with a smug smile and a phone number in his pocket. The attendant came out after him, tousled hair, pink cheeks and a pleased look on his face.

"You're insane." Tony said appreciatively. "In-fucking-sane."

Bucky grinned. "I've got my suit, did you find one?"

"Yeah I found a few." Two full racks of clothes wheeled past him as he spoke, and the manager walked up to the boys.

"We’ll have your suit sent to Gracie Mansion, Mr. Barnes." She said as she handed a slim black book. "And your suits will be sent to your home, Mr. Stark. I'll just need signatures and you'll be all set."

Tony nodded and signed the paper within the book. Bucky followed suit, not even glancing at the price of his new outfit. It felt wonderful.

"We thank you for your business." The woman said with a smile.

"And we thank you for your hospitality." Bucky replied just as warm. "It was much appreciated." His gaze met with the male attendant from the dressing room, and even from a distance he could see the blush on his cheeks.

Bucky and Tony exited the store, where Bucky’s limo and driver was waiting. "I'll see you tonight." Tony said as he walked over to his own limo. "Maybe after we can hit the bars and you can call that guy."

Bucky smiled and waved as he walked away. He did notice the pedestrians walking around him and taking the time to notice him. He caught the gaze of a few girls giving him a flirty smile. He returned the gesture with a few winks.

"Keep your dick in your pants until later!" Tony hollered out his window. Bucky flipped him off and got in the car.

The drive back to the apartment was quick, but it still gave time for the happy feeling in Bucky's head to slowly fade away. He began to realize what he really did. He drank bottles of champagne with Tony, bought an expensive-ass suit that he is going to wear only once, and fooled around with a complete stranger in a dressing room.

What was wrong with him? He's supposed to be trying to win back Steve. Instead he nearly hooks up with a Steve Rogers lookalike? He should be ashamed.

He is, but maybe he can buy Steve some nice chocolate or flowers and make it better.

The limo pulled up and Bucky awkwardly clambered out. The sun was bright and Bucky squinted. Was he already hungover?

"Mr. Barnes," the doorman greeted as he opened the door for Bucky. He nodded and walked to the elevator, calling it down with the press of a button. As he waited, he realized he had a problem. He didn't have his key on him. Or where it could possibly be?

The doors opened and his father stood waiting for him.

"Oh dad, thank god." Bucky said happily as he stepped in. "I think I lost my key."

"James, you are always losing your key." His father replied, complete disappointment and utter disdain in his tone. "And you didn't lose it, you forgot it like an idiot. How many times do I have to tell you to not forget your key?"

Bucky leaned back, surprised at the coldness in his father’s voice. He staggered but was able to catch himself before he fell over.

"Jesus Christ, are you drunk? Is this what you do when you skip school, get drunk with Tony Stark?"

"Uh..."

His father shook his head disapprovingly. "It doesn't matter. Did you at least pick out a suit for tonight?"

"Yes!" Bucky said hastily, eager to finally do something right.

"Good. Now go to your room and take a nap. I want you showered and back by this elevator at 4PM sharp, understood?"

Bucky nodded, already exhausted from his day.

"Understood??"

"Uh yes, yes sir." Bucky replied in a small voice. It seemed to appease his father, who nodded and turned away. The door opened into their foyer and he stepped away and down to the other wing, leaving Bucky alone.

He stepped out of the elevator and gazed at a painting he didn’t see this morning.  It was a family portrait, larger than life, and nearly taking up a whole wall. It was gorgeously done, and Bucky only stared at the delicate detail and swirling of colors.

But something was missing.  The artist managed to captured the exact shade of Bucky’s eyes and delicately paint his mother’s dimples even though she wasn’t smiling.  Even his father looked phenomenal, but it still wasn’t right.  What is it?

It finally snapped into place.  And as soon as Bucky realized it he broke into a sprint down the hall, focusing his footsteps so he wouldn't trip. It was like a maze but he eventually found his father in a luxurious study, a desk opposite a large fireplace.

His father was sitting at the desk and looked up when Bucky walked in. "Is there something you need James?"

"Yeah, where's Becca?" He asked breathlessly. "She's not in the family painting. D-did something happen to her?"

His father looked at him, tilting his head to the side.

"Who's Becca?"

Bucky felt his jaw drop and his knees buckle.

"Becca's my sister." He replied, feeling his chin wobble.

"James you don't have a sister." His father replied sternly.

Bucky swayed, really feeling like he's going to pass out. His vision clouded and he grabbed onto the door frame tightly.

"Oh Jesus, Mr. Sitwell?" The older man from in his tuxedo came instantly. "Can you please escort James to his room? I think he's going to be sick, and I don't want it to happen on this rug."

"Of course Mr. Barnes. Come along now, Master James." Mr. Sitwell pulled Bucky to his feet and practically dragged him to his room.

Bucky really didn't care. He was still trying to process that his little sister, sweet darling Becca, didn't exist. This was a horrible dream, a very terrible bad dream.

"Now there you go." Bucky was being sat on his bed. Mr. Sitwell gently pushed Bucky back and walked away to close the blinds. "I'll wake you in an hour, try to get some rest."

It sounded like an easy thing to do, but Bucky could do anything but rest. His little sister didn't exist, Steve still hated him, and his dad was kind of an asshole. How could Bucky do anything but-

"Master Barnes?" Mr. Sitwell turned on a lamp and came by his bed. "How're you feeling after your nap?"

Well, it turns out Bucky could get some rest. He sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes.

"I feel much better." And he did, save for his dry throats and slight headache.

"That's wonderful. Your mother was so worried about you. Now I left you some water and aspirin to take. If you get yourself presentable you can still make it to the fundraiser tonight."

The fundraiser. At the Gracie Mansion. The suit he bought with Tony. The guy he kissed at the store, he looked so much like-

"Yeah. I can do that." Bucky said. He swung his legs out and stood up.

"I'll leave you to it." Mr. Sitwell exited the room and closed the door behind him.

Bucky made to stand but found that really didn't have the energy. How could he? His little sister was nonexistent? How? Why?

He flopped back onto his bed. Maybe money wasn't the answer to his problems. But this was his life now, and he was going to take advantage of it.

Bucky found his phone and sent a message to Tony.

> _I need to get fucked up tonight._

He only had to wait a few seconds for the reply.

> _Tony:_
> 
> _That's my specialty_

The response gave Bucky the energy to propel himself from bed and take a hasty shower. He grabbed the watch and shoes laid out for him but only dressing in sweats and a t-shirt, his new suit waiting for him at the Gracie Mansion.

Bucky had a minute to spare by the time he reached he elevator, and his father wordlessly gestured towards the opening doors. The ride down to the ground floor and the drive over was silent, but Bucky was busy coordinating plans for tonight with Tony.

As they pulled up to the mansion his father finally spoke. "If you're going out with Tony tonight, all I ask is that you don't do anything stupid to jeopardize your mother’s campaign."

 Bucky glanced at his father, but saw him looking impassively out the window.

"Yes sir." He answered. But he didn't get a chance to say more (and what else could you say?) before the limo stopped and doors were being held open for them. People were rushing them inside and Bucky was shepherded into his room at the mansion.

It was just as grand as his room at the apartment, but the color scheme was vastly different. Blue lined the walls, different shades for the drapes, sheets and rugs.

Bucky immediately noticed the shade of blue on his pillowcases matched the blue of Steve's eyes. He now understood why the Bucky in this universe would want to spend more time at the apartment instead of here.

He ignored everything and made to change. He was just putting his shoes on when an assistant came in to appraise his outfit, a lint roller in hand. By the time he passed inspection he was whisked downstairs for pictures with his parents.

His dad was wearing a matching black suit with the same white shirt and red tie. And his mother looked beautiful with her long red dress, the straps handing just off the shoulders.

But while his mother physical looked the same, she held herself differently. She stood taller, and kept her smile plastered into place. It wasn't warm or genuine, but clearly for cameras and the donors around her. And her eyes were scrutinizing and intent, no warmth at all.

"James, you look great." She greeted him as he walked up to them.

"So do you," he said quietly. He leaned in to kiss her cheek when she offered it, and heard the cameras clicking like crazy.

"Okay we'll do a few shots of just the parents, we don't need James in the pictures."

Bucky was yanked away by another assistant and shooed off. But he didn't mind. He wandered around the open plan of the mansion, weaving through the guests arriving. Everyone looked so regal and exquisite. Bucky initially felt out of place but realized that he was now one of these fancy and rich people. He relaxed his shoulders and tried to feel more at ease.

A hand clapped his shoulder and Bucky jumped. "Are you ready to get fucked up?"

Bucky turned at the sound of Tony behind him, grinning. "Dude you have no idea. Let's get some drinks."

"Whoa, hold it there big guy. We can't get drunk at your moms fundraiser, we're underage."

Bucky's shoulders slumped. "Oh shit, I forgot."

"Well at least not in front of everybody." Tony beckoned to the bathrooms and Bucky followed eagerly.

Once they reached their destination Tony pulled out a black flask. "Here, you left this in my limo last week. I did you the courtesy of filling it up for you."

"Tony you're a saint." Bucky praised before hastily unscrewing the lid and taking a greedy gulp. The liquor burned down his throat but he welcomed it.

"No problem. Now if I happen to leave mine behind I hope you'll return the favor."

Bucky tipped his flask to Tony's and took another sip. It didn't burn as much this time, and by the third gulp the liquor went down as smooth as honey.

"You better take it slow." Tony cautioned. "Well still have a dinner and speeches to get through before we can leave."

Bucky frowned but nodded, capping his flask and putting it away. But not before his father came walked into the bathroom.

"James, there you are. What the hell are you doing, drinking?" His father sounded mad but it's not like Bucky could lie. He had the flask right in his hand.

"Uh, uh, uh,” Bucky stammered. Expecting his father to blow up he was surprised when he sighed.

"Look, I know these events aren't fun for you. But it's important that we support your mother now." He paused and glanced between Bucky and Tony. "Tell you what - come with me so you can talk to Headmaster Pierce and I'll let you and Tony leave early, I'll say you're feeling under the weather. Deal?"

Bucky nodded earnestly and smiled. "Of course. Lead the way."

His father gave him a thin smile but ran his eyes over his son. "Straighten your tie and fix your hair before you come find me." He quickly walked away back towards the noise at the party.

Tony hooted. "Shit, being drunk actually worked for you once. Good going James."

"I'm not drunk," Bucky snapped as he turned to a mirror to make himself look presentable. Even though he wasn't drunk there was a bit of pink coloring his cheeks and his eyes were bright.

"Yeah, well you're gonna wish you were in a few minutes."

"Why?" Bucky asked, after deeming himself presentable in the mirror. He looked and saw Tony giving him a flat look.

"It's Headmaster Pierce. He's a piece of work. Also the...never mind."

"Wait what?" Bucky asked.

"Just go and talk to him. Make it snappy so we can get the hell out of here."

Bucky frowned but exited the bathroom. He returned to the main room and scanned the crowd for his father. Bucky found him standing in the corner of the room, next to an older gentleman with auburn hair and glasses.

Once Bucky reached them he put a charming smile on his face and offered his hand. "Hello father, and hello Headmaster Pierce."

"Mr. Barnes, we missed you in school today." The headmaster returned the handshake with a lingering hand. "How're you feeling?"

After a quick glance at his father, who showed no other emotion that contentment, Bucky answered. "Much better, thank you. It would've been a shame if I had to miss this fundraiser."

"Yes indeed." Headmaster Pierce's eyes stared deeply into Bucky's and he instantly felt creeped out. "We truly did miss you today. We were supposed to have our private lesson this afternoon."

"Ah, my apologies." Bucky replied, wondering how he could make something normal sound so suggestive. He glanced at his father again but didn't see any look of surprise or shock on his face, so maybe it was just Bucky.

"James will make it up to you, no doubt about it." Bucky's father said immediately.

"Oh I have a few ideas in mind for that." A seductive smile creeped onto Pierce's face and Bucky blanched.

Bucky's father excused himself and walked away, leaving Bucky to stand alone and terribly uncomfortable with a man at least fifty years older than him.

"Do you want to hear what you could do to make it up to me?" Headmaster Pierce had leaned in to whisper in Bucky's ear. It sent a shiver down his spine, and not a pleasant one.

"Ah no I think I'm good." Bucky replied in a high pitched voice.

But Pierce only chuckled darkly and stepped closer to Bucky.  "You look absolute divine tonight James. I'd love to see these clothes on the floor of my office."

Bucky whipped his face to Pierce's and took an immediate step back. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, playing hard to get?" Pierce closed the gap with another leering step. "I forgot how much that turned me on."

Red alert, red fucking alert. Bucky needed to get out of there fast.

"Excuse me, I think I'm going to be sick." He pushed past Pierce and into the crowd. He ran for the bathrooms and closed himself in one of the stalls. He held himself over the toilet, actually concerned that he was going to be physically ill. Who the hell does that guy think he is? And why in God's name did he act like there was a thing between him and Bucky?!

Just thinking about how close he got to Bucky's face had his stomach rolling and he gagged a little. He spit into the toilet and took some deep breaths, willing himself to calm down.

Yeah, he needs to get fucking plastered tonight. Forget how he doesn't have a little sister, forget about how Steve hates him, and definitely forget the thought of that wretched man.

Bucky found Tony leaning up against the wall outside of the bathroom.

"Are you ready to go?" He asked with his eyebrows raised. Bucky just nodded, and Tony led the way outside.

"It looked like you and Headmaster Pierce were getting cozy." Tony noted.

"Shut the fuck up." Bucky spat, glaring at the ground.

"Hey, we all do crazy things for crazy reasons.”

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Bucky whipped his head to Tony, who was pursing his lips in a frown.

"Nothing. I'm just saying that I'm not one of judge, okay? Let's drop it."

Bucky exhaled sharply, nodding. "Yeah, let's drop it." They had reached the limo by then, and as Bucky slid inside he grabbed a bottle of vodka and just started chugging. He just needed to forget, that's all.


	4. Chapter 4

It would seem that waking up to a headache was a regular occurrence for Bucky these days.

Also waking up dazed and confused.

He tried to sit up, but an arm wrapped around his middle was proving that to be quite difficult. Bucky looked over with a jolt and recognized the male attendant from the suit store snoring quietly.

Jesus Christ, what the hell did Bucky do last night?

He gently pried the guys arm off of him and sat up. He looked around for his clothes, but didn't see them anywhere. He wasn't sure where anything was, not familiar with the room he was currently in. But he saw a robe hanging up by the door, so he quickly grabbed it and put it on. He quietly shuffled to the door and went into the hallway.

Bucky followed sounds coming from what he assumed was the kitchen and found a huge dining room with a long glass table surrounded by silver metal chairs. An opening peeked into an industrial sized kitchen, but Bucky's attention was on Tony, sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal.

"Well good morning sleepy." He said in a chipper voice. "How did you and suit boy sleep?"

Bucky just sank into the chair next to him and thumped his head on the table. The bright light, along with sounds and smells emitting from kitchen wasn't doing anything for his headache or stomach, so Bucky just groaned in response.

"So normal, that's good to know."

"This is normal?" Bucky asked incredulously, his voice muffled by the table.

"You betcha."

Bucky just groaned again. "I just want to go home and sleep." The thought of his own bed sounded lovely, but then he remembered the stranger in the bed just down the hall, and groaned louder.

"So, execute plan Winter Soldier?"

Bucky lifted his head and gave Tony an inquisitive look. "What's that?"

"You sneak on home and I tell lover boy to catch a cab home. We do this almost every weekend, ever since that soldier home from war refused to leave you.  It happened in the winter so I coined the name, clever right?"

Bucky blanched. "We do this every weekend?" Tony nodded at him. A depressing thought came to Bucky's head.  "Am I a slut?" Tony nodded again, and Bucky looked down again.

"If it makes you feel better, you do have a type."

"Let me guess," Bucky said flatly. "Blond hair, blue eyes?"

"Bingo."

Of course his type was Steve. The Bucky in this universe probably couldn't bear the thought of being with someone that wasn't Steve and would drink enough to trick his brain.

Well it wasn't hard for Bucky to fill the shoes of the person he supposedly was in this universe.

This universe, that universe? Old life, new life? Isn't it just the one now? That's what Nick said at least - Bucky would never be able to go back to his old life, no matter what.

So now he was subjected to hooking up with Steve Rogers’s lookalikes and pine every time he had to enter his password into his phone or computer?

The idea made Bucky feel very sad and alone.

"I just want to go home." He said softly, feeling a hard lump rise in his throat.

"Lucky for you, I already called your driver for you. And you have a change of clothes in the linen closet. I'll have your suit cleaned and sent to your apartment later.”

"Thanks Tony." Bucky said genuinely. "I owe you big time."

But his friend just waved his hand and returned to his cereal. "It's nothing. Same thing tonight? Your family has that gala at the Brooklyn Museum of Art, so maybe we could party with the hipsters tonight."

Bucky perked up. Yet another party he was going to, but he'd be in Brooklyn. Could he convince Steve to come?

"Yeah sure, I'll see you later."  Bucky rushed to the indicated linen closet and to the bathroom to change. He winced when he saw the multiple hickeys on his neck, thankful that his shirt covered most of them. He left the apartment and quickly hustled out to the street.

"Back home, Master James?" The same driver was waiting, holding the limo door for him.

"Actually, can we take a trip to Prospect Park?"

"In Brooklyn?"

"Yeah." The driver nodded and closed the door after Bucky.

A plan was forming in Bucky's head. A very simple plan, but a plan nonetheless.

"We need to stop at a corner store first though." Bucky called up front. The driver nodded again and pulled into traffic.

There were a good amount of people milling around Prospect Park. It wasn't surprising, a beautiful and sunny Saturday always brought the largest crowds.

Back in his old life, if Bucky wasn't working a shift at the fast food place he was spending his time in this park with Steve. They would sit together on their bench, while Steve would sketch and Bucky just watch him. Sometimes they would sprawl out on a blanket and have a picnic, but Steve always preferred to sit up straight to sketch.

Bucky would bet money that Steve would be here today, still sketching the trees and grass and people passing by.

And he wasn't disappointed. Bucky saw his blond head bent over a sketch pad, and his hand making markings on the page. He had a face of intense focus, his brows pulled together in concentration.

Okay Bucky couldn't see all of that, but he knew Steve well enough that that was his drawing face.

Seeing Steve in person made Bucky's heart flop. He stood a good few feet away, and struggled to think of a way to approach him.

But when Steve looked up and scanned the area his eyes fell on Bucky a look of surprise crosses his face. Then anger. Then hurt. And finally composed neutrality.

Bucky almost smiled, knowing that Steve always had a terrible poker face. But knowing that he probably caused those emotions didn't make him feel like smiling.

He mustered all of his courage and walked up to him. He looked on from his spot on the bench, his expression never wavering.

"Can I join you?" Bucky asked timidly.

"Well there's room on the bench, and it's a free country so I can't stop you." Steve replied harshly.

Bucky sat down, putting enough distance between them to be respectable and simultaneously creating a hole in his heart.

They sat in an awkward silence, Steve almost glaring at Bucky while he looked down sheepishly.

"So. Um, how are you?" Bucky asked quietly.

"Good." Steve replied cautiously, not asking how Bucky was in return.

"Oh. Good. That's good." Bucky said. He was nodding excessively, he knew it but he couldn't stop.

Another awkward silence hung over them, and Bucky was cursing himself for not thinking of what to say on the ride over. Right now all he could think of was the times he and Steve spent together.

"Hey, remember that time when that bully pushed you into some trash cans and started to beat you up because you yelled at him to shut up at the movies?"

Steve slowly turned to him, giving Bucky an "are-you-serious?" look. "Are you asking if I remember the time I was punched in the face?" Bucky didn't reply, realizing that that particular story was probably not a good one to bring up.

"Sorry." He muttered hastily. He looked down at his feet and silently wished for the ground to swallow him whole.

"Because I do. But I also remember you coming in and fighting with me."

Bucky looked up to Steve incredulously, and saw a not-quite-so-hateful look on his face.

Bucky laughed. "Yeah, that Hodge guy was a dick."

Steve nodded, his features thawing ever so slightly. "Do you remember that time you took me to Coney Island and dragged me onto the Cyclone?"

Bucky nodded eagerly, the memory of that day etched into his brain forever. "Yeah, you got sick right after we got off and I felt so bad."

"Yeah well you did warn me about eating three hot dogs in a row before going on. And it was a fun ride." Steve's face lost all its hardness and he even smiled at Bucky. It was a small and hesitant smile, but it still had all the Steve Rogers's patented kindness.

"Hey, I got you something." Bucky turned to reach into his pocket.  But Steve's heated voice stopped him.

"If you just came to shower me with expensive presents then I'm not fucking interested." He slammed his sketch book shut and gathered his things.

"No wait!" Bucky cried. He nearly reached out for Steve's hand but decided against it. "It's nothing big, I swear! Just...hold on..." Bucky finally got ahold of the candy bar and shoved it in Steve's hand.

Steve froze, staring down at the Snickers sitting on his palm. He didn't speak for a minute, letting Bucky sit in extreme anxiety that he messed up and offered Steve in some monumental way.

"You remembered?" Steve finally spoke up, in the quietest voice imaginable. He was now holding the candy bar gently, as if it was the most sacred thing in the world.

"Of course." Bucky answered honestly. "I was just buying them for you yest - I meant it feels like I was just buying them for you yesterday."

Steve was still looking down at the bar but after a beat he finally looked up at Bucky's face. He looked vulnerable and hopeful, as if he wanted to express waves of magnitude but something deep down was holding him back.

The sight physically hurt Bucky's heart and he took a deep breath.

"Steve, I wasn't kidding yesterday when I said I don't remember my life. I guess you could say that I had an elaborate dream where I lived for seventeen years as your best friend and even your boyfriend. I was happy, you were happy, and we were so in love. And now I've woken up to this life where you hate me and you're dating Brock, and I'm friends with the guy that almost killed me with his limo, and my closet is full of suits and ties, but that's beside the point." Bucky hastily added as he took in Steve's sour face. "I lived in a dream that let me experience your love and kindness and now I live in a nightmare where I cannot. In this life, is I was granted even the slightest amount of your compassion, it was a privilege that I abused and exploited. I had to have acted so selfishly and irresponsibly if you now see me in a horrid way. And I cannot erase my past mistakes. All I can do is apologize, and do it with all of my heart. So, Steven Grant Rogers, I am so sorry. And if you forgive me, I'd consider it the highest honor bestowed upon me."

Steve looked at Bucky as he was speaking, and remained silent after he finished. His face didn't give much away, and Bucky sat patiently for a response.

"Wow, you must've paid your mother's speech writer a lot of money to write that for you." Steve said sardonically.

"No, I didn't - my mother doesn't - I mean," Bucky sputtered, frustrated that his declaration did nothing good. "That came from the heart Steve!"

"Yeah, and so did the other twenty speeches you've given me before, so forgive me for not falling at your feet." Steve replied bitterly.

Bucky's heart dropped. "I've done this twenty times already?"

"At least."

Bucky felt his shoulder slump and he couldn't help his face crumpling in disappointment. He was such an asshole. He's hurt Steve twenty times (at least) if he had to try and apologize twenty times (at least).

Bucky held his face in his hands, completely dispirited. This idea was stupid, he was stupid, this life was stupid.

His life was stupid.

"James?" Steve's voice was concerned, but Bucky knew he didn't deserve it.

"I'm fine, just..." Bucky was the exact opposite of fine, he was everything but fine. "I'm just thinking about the day when you finally told me you loved me, and I kissed you."

Steve's eyebrows raised, as he was no doubt thinking back too.

_"You see, the thing is Bucky. I, uh, I l-"_

_Steve's stammering was so adorable._

_"You what, Stevie?" Bucky asked sweetly._

_"Uh, I l-I lo-love..."_

_"What, what do you love?"_

_"Not what! Who!"_

_"Ah," Bucky smiled at Steve's frustration. "Who do you love?"_

_Steve audibly gulped and turned beer red. "Well, uh, uh, I lo-"_

_Bucky cut him off with a deep kiss. It was Steve's first real kiss, and it was Bucky's first kiss that made him feel fireworks in his heart._

_He pulled away and smiled at Steve's blinking face._

_"I love you too."_

"Oh wow, yeah that was a long time ago." Steve replied back now. He held his sketch pad in his lap tightly. "I can't believe you remember that day."

"I'll remember that day forever." Bucky said quietly. And he would. For Bucky, it was the greatest day of his life.

"I will too." Steve's whisper surprised Bucky and he turned to look at him. Steve was looking down at his lap, pursing his lips.

"Do you remember what else I told you that day?" Bucky asked in a hushed tone. After Steve nodded he continued. "I said I'd be with you until the end of the line."

Steve gripped his notepad even tighter, his knuckles turning white. Bucky slowly reached over, his hand hovering over Steve's. After it looked like Steve wasn't going to protest or hit him, Bucky rested his hand over Steve's.

"I'm sorry I broke that promise. I told myself it was the most important one I could make, and I didn't keep it." Bucky squeezed his hand before letting go. Steve turned his head to meet Bucky's gaze, his blue eyes bright and shiny.

Bucky gave him a sad smile. "I'll regret it until the day I die." He pulled away and sniffed, feeling his own eyes water. "I'll leave you alone, I won't ever bother you again. No more flowers or cards or whatever I tried to give you to buy your favor back." Bucky stood, leaving Steve frozen on the bench. He walked a few steps before stopping and turning back.

"I thought I knew what love was before. In that dream, when we were together. I thought love could be a physical being, represented with gifts and presents.  And the size of the gift embodied the amount of love between two people. But I was wrong. Love is sacrificing your own happiness, as long as the person you love is happy. And with that, there is happiness." Bucky turned and walked away, leaving his one love behind.

At least until he came crashing into Bucky from behind.

"Wha-" Bucky let out the rest of his question in a huff, all of the air being squeezed out of him by a fierce hug from Steve.

"That was the most honest thing you've said to me in years." Steve whispered furiously into Bucky's ear. "Thank you."

Bucky returned the hug, trying to match Steve's strength and also trying not to burst into tears.

Steve pulled away and wiped the remaining tears from his own face. "I'm sorry I was so harsh before. I didn't know you'd be so...different."

"It's okay." Bucky assured him. "You were totally right to be wary. I think, I really don't remember what I did."

Steve paused, still sniffing. "Maybe we should go get some coffee and talk things over?"

Bucky nodded eagerly. "That sounds great."

The boys made their way down the path, Bucky already knowing which coffee shop Steve had picked out. As they walked he had the urge to grabbed Steve's hand and swing it with his. But he resisted, knowing it wouldn't be fair.

But he couldn't stop himself from nudging shoulders with him and teasing. "I feel like you've grown taller since the last time I saw you."

Steve smiled. "Yeah I doubt that, unless you've grown shorter."

"Such a punk."

"Jerk."

The rest of the morning and afternoon went along similarly, save for when Bucky tried to explain what exactly happened in his "dream". It didn't seem like Steve believed him but he still listened. In return Steve recounted every gift that Bucky tried to give him, each more ludicrous than the last.

"A star? I really gave you a star?"

Steve nodded into his coffee. "Yeah, it was probably the most cringe-worthy. But what was worse was the stupid letter you sent with it. It was so obviously written in someone else's handwritten with you signature sloppily added at the bottom."

Bucky groaned and smack his forehead with his hand. "I'm such an idiot."

"Yeah you are." Steve said lightly and with a smile on his face.

They spent the rest of their time talking about Steve's schoolwork and projects. Bucky asked about their friends and Steve explained that Sam shipped off to a military boarding school and Natasha returned to Russia to go to a top ballet school and Clint made fast friends with Brock and other similar criminals.

Steve wouldn't talk about how he and Brock got back together, or what actually drove him and Bucky away. Bucky really wanted to press him for more answers but Steve didn't budge.

But Bucky didn't talk much about his life and he certainly wasn't going to tell Steve about his wild night out, so safe to say it was pretty even. 

A quick glance down to his phone sent Bucky in a tailspin.

"Shit shit, I was supposed to be home twenty minutes ago." He stood up quickly and threw his jacket on. "I have to go home and get ready for -"

"The gala at the Brooklyn Museum of Art." Steve finished for him.

"Yeah, are you going?"

Steve snorted. "It's a closed event James, they don't let the commoners in."

"I'll get you in." Bucky promised. When Steve rolled his eyes, Bucky stopped trying to rush out. "No Steve, I'm serious. Will you come tonight? I'll make sure your name is on the list, I can get you a seat at my table, I'll-"

"James, I don't know," Steve said, sounding hesitant.

"Please? It's not a money thing or whatever, I really want you there."

Steve looked at him, scrutinizing before finally nodding. "Okay fine, I'll go. But if there are any problems at all I'll leave right away."

Bucky grinned hugely. "Awesome! I'll text you times and stuff. Oh wait, I need your phone number. Did you get a new phone or-"

"No no, I just blocked you."

Bucky just looked at Steve. He wanted to protest but remember the years of hurt he caused Steve and thought against it. "Okay fair enough. But I gotta go, I'll see you later!"

Steve waved as Bucky rushed out of the coffee shop. He walked a few blocks back to the park before spotting his limo driver waiting for him.

"We are running late, Master James."

Bucky ducked his head. "Sorry, sorry."

"I've already phoned ahead and said traffic was terrible so your parents wouldn't worry."

Bucky sent a smile to his driver, who actually smiled in return.

"Thank you!" Bucky said genuinely before sliding into the limo. The drive back was fast and soon enough Bucky was rushing up the elevator and into his home.

"Mom? Dad?" Bucky called out. "Hello?"

His father came out of his office looking annoyed. "James, enough with the shouting!"

"I'm sorry sir." Bucky immediately apologized. "But I have a question, or a favor to ask." His father remained quiet, waiting. "Am I allowed to bring a guest tonight?"

His father looked at him before responding. "I suppose it would be okay. We should have another seat available at our table.  Who are you bringing?"

"His name's Steve Rogers. He was our neighbor before we moved."

"Ah yes, I remember the Rogers." His father nodded knowingly. "He was a good boy. Will he meet us there?"

Bucky nodded. "Yeah, he doesn't live that far from the museum."

"I'll inform security to expect a Steven Rogers. Make sure he brings ID.”

"Thanks Dad!" Bucky went to go shower and get ready but was called back by his father.

"I almost forgot, Headmaster Pierce sent these for you today." He grabbed the black boxes sitting on the table by the elevator. They were wrapped in satin black bows with a letter set on top. His father handed him the letter first, which Bucky gingerly opened.

It was a piece of paper, the stationary from the desk of the Headmaster of HYDRA. In a scrawl were the words "Wear Me Tonight" and nothing else.

Bucky's father handed him the first gift, a long and thin box which reveled to be holding a blood red tie.  His father hummed before taking the tie and giving Bucky the second present. It was an onyx watch, with the red numbers matching the shade of the red tie.

"How marvelous." Bucky's father exclaimed. "He must've gotten it custom made for you, that's extremely generous."

"Yeah it's something," Bucky said under his breath. It was generous, but the idea that the Headmaster picked these very expensive gifts out just creeped Bucky out.  What kind of old man gives a kid like him this kind of present?  Bucky has no idea what kind of relationship the Bucky in this universe has with Headmaster Pierce but from what he can gather from the past two days lead Bucky to a conclusion that makes him sick.

"That tie and watch would look nice with your one-button English Suit, with a black shirt and your Hydra pocket square. I believe Wanda's already laid them out for you."

"So you knew I was getting a tie and watch from the headmaster?" Bucky asked, a hint of disbelief seeping into his voice.

His father nodded and looked like he wanted to say more but the phone in his study began ringing. He pushed the boxes into Bucky's hands before walking away.  "Just be dressed and out here by 5, understood?"

Bucky nodded numbly at his father's retreating figure.

Once he reached his room Bucky dumped the presents on his bed, a feeling a wave of nausea every time he looked at them.

He walked into his closet and sure enough saw the suit and clothes his father told him about. Bucky just sighed, not nearly looking forward to this event as much as he was before.

But he would get to see Steve again, and that was honestly the only thing motivating him to get ready.  Steve and his blue blue eyes.

Bucky showered and changed, not putting as much effort in this time around. He grimaced as he tied the new tie around his neck and slipped on his new watch. The presents sat like weights on his wrist and neck, an obvious reminder of who they were from and the implications behind them.

Bucky met his parents by the exit, relieved for the assistants rushing around so he wouldn't have to try and talk. But his mother did take a moment to smooth down Bucky's tie with a smile, which almost made him sick to his stomach.

If she only knew what the man who gave him the gifts really wanted, maybe she wouldn't be so pleased with it. But who knows? This woman masquerading as Bucky's mom is nowhere near as kind or wonderful as the mother in Bucky's old universe. Bucky was an idiot for not seeing it before, but it was too late now. He's lost her to the people of New York City.

And his father is no better. Sure, he helped out Bucky once so far in this new life. But he was greedy and selfish, just as Bucky was before. He'd give anything to see the twinkle in his father's eyes again, or hear his booming laugh.

He missed his parents so much it hurt. And he missed his little sister. Her absence was a constant reminder in Bucky's heart - a missing piece just noticeable enough to hurt. Her smile and innocent enthusiasm was a bright light in Bucky's life, and there was nothing that could ever replace it.

"James, are you alright?"

They were sitting in the limo and Bucky didn't even realized it. He also was unaware that he had wrapped his arms around his chest and had let loose an involuntary sob. He wasn't crying, not yet, but just in so much emotionally pain it nearly hurt him physically.

Bucky quickly released his arms and took a few deep breaths. He turned to his mother, who looked concerned but not the same concern that a Mom holds for her children. More like she was nervous that a certain appliance wasn't working properly and she wasn't sure if she could replace it and get her money back.

Bucky smiled back and nodded. "Yes I'm fine."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning:  
> Attempted Rape at some point in the chapter. It's brief but still want to add the warning!

Bucky and his family entered the museum after walking through the gauntlet of reporters and photographers waiting outside.  He had tried to move through quick but of course his mother had to stop and pose for pictures. The whole ordeal took a good twenty minutes.

As they shrugged off their coats and handed them off to coat check, Bucky turned and surveyed the scene. He was dismayed to an even longer walk with even more photographers waiting.

Of course it was blocking the way into the party and booze.

Bucky felt a finger tap his shoulder. He turned with a frown, expecting one of his mother's assistants telling him how to walk, but he was delighted to see Steve standing behind him instead.

"Steve! Wow you look great!"

And he did. He wore a simple suit with a plain white shirt and a blue tie. The small sliver of blue brought out the intense shade in Steve's eyes. It was a very appealing look for him.

"Thanks James, you look nice too. That tie is...very red."

"Yeah, thanks." Bucky impulsively reached for the tie around his neck, wishing he could remove it and throw it in the garbage.

"Oh my, is that Steven Rogers?"

The boys both turned to Bucky's mom, who actually looked excited to see Bucky's old friend.

"Mayor Barnes, what a pleasure to see you again." Steve stepped into the hug she had offered. "You look as lovely as ever."

"Such a gentleman." She stepped back and looked at him with her political smile. "You just don't know how happy me and James' father were when we heard you were coming tonight. You had always been a wonderful friend for James."

"You were?" Bucky asked skeptically. This was the first he was hearing about it, but that was due to the fact that this is pretty much the first time he's talked to his mother tonight.

"Of course James." Bucky's father stepped forward to shake Steve's hand firmly. "You and Steven used the play together all of the time. It was a shame how you lost touch after we moved away."

"I was happy too." Steve said easily after he shook hands with Bucky's father. "James was one of my best friends, I only wished I worked harder to be his friend."

"You do?" Bucky asked Steve, confused more than ever now.

But before Steve could answer Bucky's mom shoved them towards the photographers. "You two should walk the carpet together! It would be so wonderful!"

"Uh," but Bucky didn't get much of a chance to complain (not that he would) before he and Steve were pushed onto the carpet. Camera lights flashed in their faces and reporters were yelling their questions.

"James, who's your friend?!"

"Who made your suit tonight, James?!"

"Is this a new boyfriend James?!"

Steve's face paled and he turned to Bucky terrified. "What is going on?"

Bucky plastered on a smile and angled their bodies to the cameras. "Just smile and wave Steve, smile and wave."

Bucky turned his attention back to the photographers, leaving space between himself and Steve. He didn't want to give anyone the wrong idea and he knew that Steve was extremely uncomfortable as it was. He made to move down he carpet but felt a firm arm hold him in place.

"Don't leave me here alone." He whispered frantically. Steve pulled Bucky closer, pressing right against his side.

Bucky gave him a small smile. "Don’t worry Stevie, I’m here."

Steve looked at him then down to the end of the carpet. He pursed his lips, but was fighting back a smile. "Stevie?”  He asked curiously.  But Bucky just shrugged, which finally broke Steve’s composure as he smiled back.

Bucky laughed and Steve joined in.  Steve may be laughing out of pure nervousness but Bucky was just so happy.  This was the life he had always pictured for himself.  He was rich, had superb clothes, and most important, he had Steve by his side.  Around them the reporters were going nuts with their cameras clicking madly, but Bucky had eyes for only Steve.

This was his Steve, the sweet and kind boy who stopped to help an old lady cross the street or stand up to bullies. The Steve he fell in love with before Bucky knew what love really was, and the Steve that Bucky would do anything for.

The pair finally made their way down the line of reporters. Bucky didn't have to stop and answer questions, so it didn't take nearly as much time as he thought. Once they both stepped off the plush carpet Steve let go of Bucky's arms but stayed close to his side.

"Well that was terrifying." Steve said. "I don't know how you do that all the time."

"Yeah, me neither." Bucky stretched and looked around. There were already a fair amount of people here, everyone looking dressed up and smart.  

"Cmon, let’s go find our table." Bucky and Steve walked around the people and found their table, directly in front of the podium. He groaned when he saw his father on his right and Headmaster Pierce on his left. Steve was set across the table, but at least he got to be next to Tony.

"You know Tony Stark?" Steve asked as he peered at the name tags next to his plate. "The heir of Stark Industries?"

"Uh yeah. He should be here by now."

"I heard he's kind of a dick. Big man, full of talk. But I thought he was older, is he a student or what?"

"He’s a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist."

Tony came around and wrapped an arm around Steve's shoulders. "Who's your friend Barnes?"

"Steve, this is Tony Stark. Tony this is Steve Rogers, a friend from when I was younger."

"Nice to meet you big guy." Tony leaned into Steve's personal space and inspected his face. Steve immediately leaned back. "Huh, I now understand you type. Well done Barnes."

"Tony." Bucky said through gritted teeth. Steve only looked back and forth between Bucky and Tony, confusion evident on his face.

"Well it's true." Tony finally stepped back and grabbed an empty glass from the table. "I'm in search of refreshments, care to join me?"

Bucky was about to agree but he suddenly felt like he was being watched. He scanned the room and found Headmaster Pierce watching him like a hawk.

"Actually Steve and I are going to go look at some art." Bucky grabbed Steve's arm and almost dragged his friend from the table. He weaved through the crowd and didn't stop until they were down a hallway and well away from the crowd.

"You know I've seen this art before, right?" Steve told him after a minute. "We could've stayed with your friend."

Bucky faltered, not really wanting to admit that he was actually just escaping Pierce's gaze. "Yeah, but I haven't seen this art. In need you to explain it to me."

"Well that's a red circle and a blue square. Or did you forget your colors and shapes already?"

Bucky looked at the painting they stopped in front of and in fact saw it full of shapes. He turned red and glanced at Steve, who was smirking down at him. "Okay, well maybe the square is sad or something, I don't know! Explain it!"

Steve rolled his eyes but turned towards the painting and gazed at it thoughtfully. "Well, some artists like to take a scene and break it down into simple shapes and colors. It's somewhat abstract but if you just look at it you can sometimes figure out what they painted."

Bucky squinted at the painting, tilted his head left and right, but still couldn't see anything. "So what is it?"

"Well then there are other artists who just like to paint shapes."

"You ass" Bucky grumbled while Steve cackled. He punched him in the shoulder but couldn't help but laugh too.

"Thanks for coming tonight Steve." Bucky said after walked around and looked at more paintings. "I know you definitely didn't have to, but it's nice to have you here."

"Thanks for inviting me." Steve replied. "I'm having a lot more fun than I thought I would. I'd forgotten what a cool guy you are."

Steve's words reminded Bucky of what he had told his parents before the gala.

"Did you mean what you said before?" Steve turned to Bucky with a quizzical look.  "About how you wished you tried to be my friend?"

Steve didn't answer Bucky right away, choosing to stare at the paintings around him for a while. "Honestly?" He finally said after a minute. "Yeah. If you asked me that question before then I would've said no. But there's been something different about you lately. It seems like you're willing to try it again, and it's inspired me." He faced Bucky with a smile on his face. "I'm willing to give it another shot - I'm with ya until the end of the line."

Bucky smiled too, the happy grin growing on his face. He pulled Steve into a bone-crushing hug and held tight, so incredibly happy.

"Now I want to be friends first, James." Steve said, but he sounded just as happy as Bucky felt. "We need to get to know each other again before you try anything sneaky. And I'm going to have to break up with Brock, oh good lord."

"I'll talk to Brock for you," Bucky said confidently. "You won't have to deal with that slime ball ever again."

Steve laughed. "No please, I'd like to tell him myself. Why I went back out with him, I'll never understand."

"Yeah me neither."

Steve hummed and leaned into Bucky's hug. "I will admit I've missed this Bucky."

Bucky turned his head and looked up at Steve's face. "Did you call me Bucky?"

"Yes I did Bucky."

Bucky has never loved another man greater than Steve Rogers.

"Let me take you on a date. We'll go to that place down the street with those chocolate milkshakes you like so much."

"That sounds nice. Maybe sometime next week?"

"No let’s go now."

"Now?" Steve asked. "Don't you have to stay for the gala and speeches?"

"Probably. But my mom won't notice I'm gone and I'll tell my dad I wanted to leave with you. He won't care too much."

Steve looked down at Bucky worriedly. "I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Honestly I think people expect me to leave. It's all part of my bad-boy persona."

"Oh brother." Steve said with an eye roll.

"Don't be jealous, I know you like it." Bucky smushed his face to Steve's, who laughed loudly and struggled to escape.

"Bucky did you even brush your teeth? Ugh!"

Bucky finally relented and released Steve from his clutches. "C’mon, I'm craving some greasy diner food."

Steve nodded and together they walked back to the party. They didn't hold hands, even though Bucky had to catch himself reaching over once or twice. But they walked close together, shoulder to shoulder.

An assistant came up to Bucky as soon as they came back. "Mr. Barnes, Mr. Stark needs to speak with you in private. He's waiting by the coat check."

Bucky nodded and turned over to Steve. "I better go find out what he wants. I left my phone at the table, will you grab it?"

Steve nodded, smiling as he walked away. Bucky made his way to the coat check with his own smile. He was finally winning Steve back. He knew he could have it pretty good - as long as Steve was by his side nothing would go wrong.

Bucky made his way around the corner, but didn't see Tony anywhere near the secluded coat check. Stupid idiot, he probably saw some babe with heels and went chasing.

A strong arm pulled him further into the coat room and a hand clasped tight over his mouth.

"I've been looking all over for you Mr. Barnes. You have some work you need to make up."

Bucky's skin crawled at the voice of Headmaster Pierce whispering into his ear. He whipped around and came face to face with the man himself.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"Come now, the playing hard act is getting old. We're all alone, so I think it's the perfect opportunity for your make up lesson."

Bucky's own feet worked against him as Pierce was bodily shoving him backwards. He cried out once his back slammed into the wall painfully, but was quickly silenced with a forceful kiss to his lips.

Bucky's eyes opened wide as he struggled to push Pierce off. But the older man had weight on his side as he used his entire body to trap Bucky.

Bucky kept his mouth closed firmly and managed to move his head to the side and free his lips. He gasped for breath while continuing to struggle.

"Oh Mr. Barnes, the things you do to me." Pierce moaned against his neck and began to sloppily kiss the skin there.

"Get off of me!" Bucky cried, unable to free his arms pinned to his sides. "Get off!"

"James you know what happens if you struggle." Pierce whispered in Bucky's ear, causing a full body tremor to run through Bucky. "We've had this arrangement for years - you give me what I want and I give you letters of recommendation to whatever college you want."

Bucky froze. That can't right, Bucky wouldn't stoop to that level just for a stupid letter.

Would he?

Suddenly and horribly Brock and Tony's words came floating back into his head.

_"Do they really teach you how to suck dick at your school, or do you really have to have after-school lessons with the teacher?"_

_"Hey, we all do crazy things for crazy reasons."_

A door opening and slamming shut quickly brought Bucky back to reality. He wasn't sure how he could've ignored the wet panting in his ear, but here he was.

"Now take these clothes off. And give me a show, I know you love to show off."

Bucky had to hold back a gag, completely disgusted with this vile old man. But he was much more disgusted with himself.

Is this is who Bucky was? An entitled rich slut who would do anything to get what he wants? How did he let this happen? What happened to his sense of right and wrong? Did it go away after Bucky realized what money could buy?

No wonder Steve wants nothing to do with him.

Shit, he's supposed to be taking Steve out to the diner. He's probably wondering where Bucky is.

"You need to get the fuck off of me." Bucky snarled, the fight in him returning.

"No I don't think so. But you need to do what I say or you'll regret it." Now Pierce started to sound angry and his grip tightened on Bucky's arms.

He used the change to quickly bring his knee up directly into Pierce's groin. As the older man doubled over and released Bucky's arms, Bucky shoved him to the ground and sprinted for the door.

He tripped out into the hallway, trying to catch his breath. He ran back to the main lobby, desperately searching for Steve. He earned a lot of strange looks, which wasn't surprising seeing how his dress shirt was untucked and his collar and tie rumpled. He was certain his hair was a disheveled mess and his eyes wide and scared.

But Bucky didn't care about any of that. He needed to find Steve and be told that he's not really a terrible person despite all evidence pointing to that conclusion.

"Tony!" Bucky cried as he found his friend leaning against the wall, a glass in his hand. His normally mischievous smirk was replaced with something more serious.

"What's up Barnes?"

"Have you seen Steve? I need to find him and talk to him."

Tony took a sip from his glass, taking the time to drink it down. "He left."

"What? Why, did he say where he was going?!"

"No. But he looked upset. Like really upset." Tony took in Bucky's appearance and lifted his eye brows. "Not hard to guess why."

Bucky felt like he'd been slapped in the face. "Tony, what are you saying?"

Tony scoffed and looked down at his drink. "I know I say you're crazy and awesome and all this great stuff, but sometimes you can be an asshole." He downed his drink in one last gulp and turned to Bucky. "I thought you bringing Steve here tonight meant you were finally moving away from your chaotic lifestyle and into something more genuine and respectable. But you're just as selfish as always." Tony's harsh words were like knife wounds to Bucky's heart, but he could only just stand with his mouth open.

"I mean, you've only talked about the guy for the last three years, waxing poetic about his beauty and kindness. You've been hung up on him for ages; anyone who cared to look at your past hook ups could see that you had a specific type. Not including your whole "thing" with Pierce. I know I sometimes do questionable things, but whatever twisted relationship you had with him is pretty fucking gross."

Bucky sputtered. "I thought you said you weren't one to judge?"

Tony laughed incredulously. "Are you really trying to justify your behavior?" He laughed again while Bucky turned bright red.  "I told you that because it's what friends are supposed to say to each other. Not like we're best buddies or anything though. Oh no," Tony added at the look of shock on Bucky's face. "We are definitely not friends. I tried though, believe me I tried. But I've had to clean up so many of your messes and deal with your shit for too long. I've just been sticking around to watch you crash and burn. And it seems like we've come to the final act, and it is a delight." Tony clapped his hands, a satisfied smirk on his face.

Bucky's heart turned to ice. So Tony had been playing him all along. He revealed his grand scheme, pulled the rug out from Bucky's feet and pointed and laughed while Bucky struggled to understand what the hell was happening.

Is this what rich people do? Play mind games and hold grudges for years and be BFFs with people who had no purpose other than to entertain and delight?

"Now, this has been fun. Really it has. But I believe we are coming to the more depressing arc of your story James, and I really don't care to see it. So have fun cleaning up this mess, and when the guilt and depression starts to eat at you from the inside try not to kill yourself, yeah? Or do it, I don't care. Ciao."

Tony turned away and walked back to the party, leaving Bucky standing and wondering what the hell was his life.

He only was able to wallow in misery for a few seconds before frantically remembering his Steve.

Bucky turned to the exit and ran. His life was crumbling before his eyes, but he would be damned if he let Steve get away from him again.


	6. Chapter 6

Bucky sprinted into Prospect Park, letting the glowing lamps guide his way to Steve. And if Steve wasn't here then Bucky would search all of New York City to find him.

But luck finally seemed to be on his side, for as soon as their bench came into Bucky saw Steve, hunched over.

"Steve!" Bucky called, half desperate and half relieved. "Why did you leave the party, I thought we were getting milkshakes."

"Stay the fuck away from me."

Bucky halted in his steps, stopping a few feet in front of Steve. He sounded anguished in his command, but the hatred was still clear.

"Steve, wha-"

"Don't you dare." Steve looked up to glare at Bucky through red rimmed eyes. "Don't you dare try to ask me what's wrong, or act like you give a damn about anyone else but yourself. Just leave me alone."

Bucky's stomach dropped, the sensation similar to riding a roller coaster. But instead of making him shout with happiness he filled with dread.

Bucky took another step forward, his heart screaming at him to comfort Steve. But the blond sprung up from the bench and moved further away.

"I mean it James," Steve hissed (Bucky tried to ignore the pang he felt being called by his full name.) "I don't want anything to do with you anymore. Just go back to your life of getting drunk and fucking strangers, and leave me be."

"No I can't." Bucky said, desperation clear in his voice. "Stevie please don't push me away again!"

"Me?! Push you away?!" Steve laughed harshly, the sound marred by a sob. " _You_ did this! _You_ made me believed that you actually changed! _You_ invited me here tonight! _You_ decided to have a quickie in the closet with your...your fucking Headmaster for Christ's sake!" Steve shoved his hands to his eyes, a frustrated and heartbroken motion. He gasped and clenched his teeth, trying to stop crying. All while Bucky watched on helplessly, tears pooling in his own eyes.

Steve saw Bucky with Headmaster Pierce. He must've been the one who opened the door and saw them together. But he has to know that Bucky didn't want that, he had to have noticed Bucky struggling against the older man.

"Steve I didn't do anything with Pierce! He forced himself onto me!"

"How can I believe you?!" Steve cried in anguish. "I had hoped that was some sick rumor Brock told me just to piss me off, I really did. But I shouldn't have been surprised! I shouldn't have been surprised about any of this!"

"How can you say that?!" Bucky asked in disbelief. "How can you think that I would _want_ something like that?"

Steve didn't say anything for a second, letting the idea float around before shaking his head with misery on his face. "No! I'm not doing this! I told myself years ago that I wouldn't feel bad for you, not after what you did.”

"What did I do?!"

"You CHEATED on me!" Steve screamed. "You cheated on me for three years!"

Bucky was flabbergasted. He shook his head frantically, desperate to hear anything but the truth. "No no no no no, I wouldn't do that to you, I love you!"

"You only love yourself!" Steve snapped, furiously wiping away his tears. “But I love you too, god dammit!  I have loved you for years.”  He paused again, holding one fisted-hand to his mouth as if to dam the sobs that want to escape.  Steve breathed deeply, attempting to collect himself before he resumed speaking.  “I never would’ve thought that you, James Barnes, would like someone like me.  Sure we were friends, but I wanted so much more.  But I was small and skinny and sick for almost all of third grade.  But you loved me.  When we finally got together, it was the happiest day of my life.  And I thought nothing would ever go wrong, knowing that you would always be by my side.”  An ugly look twisted Steve’s face and he clenched his fists even tighter.  “But when you moved and your parents got new jobs, you changed.  You became mean, greedy and selfish.  I was scared, thinking that this was it for us but you promised you wouldn’t change.  You begged me not to leave you.  And I didn’t leave you, determined to stay with you, relieved by your promises.  But I had to watch as you made out with some floozy at whatever club you happened to be in, or hook up with someone else at whatever party.  It didn't matter where you were, because you always found someone to stick your dick in!" Steve's tears flowed down his face, but the hostility behind his words cut Bucky to his core. Everything that Bucky has learned about his life in this world has shocked him, but this took the grand prize.

"Steve, I'm so -"

“For three years I had to endure.  The heartache, the arguing, the tears, the promises.  I did it all, but it was killing me.  The vicious cycle was _literally_ killing me.  The stress of not knowing where you were or who you were with, mixed in with my anxiety and asthma problems, landed me in the hospital our freshman year.  I was out for two weeks, and all you did was send me a bouquet of flowers to my hospital room.”

Bucky didn’t think he could feel any lower, but apparently there is a level lower than hell.

“I had invited you to all of my art exhibits, I tried to get you to come to the museums and parks but you were off jet setting across the globe with your new friends, who I honestly don’t think give a shit about you.  They never cared about you Bucky, and for the longest time I never understood why you chose to hung out with them.”  Steve gave a laugh that sounded more like a scoff.  “But birds of a feather, I guess.  Soul-less people with fake grins and shitty personalities find each other and talk about how much they like to drink or how many people they have sex with in one week.”

Steve’s words were biting and hurtful, but instead of sounding angry he sounded tired.  Just so doggone tired.  It occurred to Bucky that Steve has definitely said these words before, probably more than once.  How in God’s name did the Bucky in this universe realize that he was hurting Steve this much?

“Steve,” Bucky choked out.  “How did I not see?  How could I have been so blind?”

With that desperate question came another weak chuckle from Steve.  “That part you can actually blame on me.”  Steve fully turned back to Bucky and stepped right up in his space.  His blue eyes were swimming with tears, so full of hurt that Bucky wanted to turn away and weep.  But he forced himself to look into those eyes he loves so much, forcing himself to look on the man he hurt so badly. 

“You begged me to stay.  And I did.” Steve said, his answer so simplified. 

“But why?” Bucky asked in a whisper.

“Because I loved you.”  Steve kept his eyes on Bucky, his jaw set and his face determined.  “And I still love you Bucky.”

A few tears trickled down Bucky’s face and he looked down at the ground, silently trying to keep his composure.  A gentle hand touched his cheek and wiped away his tears.  Bucky instinctively leaned into Steve’s hand and looked back up into those blue eyes.

“I care for you Bucky.  I care so much.  You stopped caring for me, and that’s why I had to walk away.  But I blocked your number, turned away your gifts and eventually you got the message.”  Steve shook his head and looked up to the sky.  “It hurt, having to turn you away.  I had hoped that you would’ve changed your mind, and these past few days I thought you had.  But I was wrong.”  His vibrant blue eyes met Bucky’s, and the look of utter exhaustion and terrible pain tipped Bucky over the edge and he had his own tears falling faster.  But he bit his lip painfully to hold back a sob. 

He doesn’t deserve to cry, not after what he’s done to Steve.  Hell he barely deserves to speak to Steve.  But what Bucky wants most right now is to pull Steve close and promise on his life to never let Steve feel this way again.  Ensure that he will never put anyone else before Steve.  Swear that Steve will never, ever look so broken and feel so small.

Promise that Bucky always has, and always will, love Steve.

“Steve,” Bucky began in a low voice.

Steve’s hand fell from Bucky’s face and he took a step back.  "No."

Steve didn't shout, he didn't yell. But the quiet and tired plea made Bucky freeze.  He stopped moving and let his arm fall to his side.

"Just stop. I am not going to do this again.  I _cannot_ live my life knowing that the most important person to me, the one person that I love with all of my heart, does not care for me the same way.”

“But I do!” Bucky cried out, finally finding his voice.  “Stevie you are everything to me, I love you so much!”

Steve smiled through his tears, his lower chin wobbling. "I just can’t believe that anymore.”  A single tear escapes and Steve sniffs before wiping it away.  For some reason, that one tear was enough to send Bucky over the edge and he finds himself sobbing out his apology.

“Stevie, I’m so sorry.  I am so so sorry that I did this to you.  Please forgive me, I promise things will be different, I’m so sorry.”  His tears flow into his mouth as Bucky trips over his words, trying to breathe and speak at the same time.  “This is my entire fault, and I swear I’ll do anything just _please,_ forgive me Stevie.  I’m so sorry.”

Bucky wiped his wet face with the sleeve of his expensive tuxedo, not giving a damn that he was ruining the jacket.  How could he care about something so insignificant when his whole world was staring back at him through blood-shot eyes?

Steve was regarding Bucky with a tired expression, not making any movement to comfort Bucky through his emotional breakdown.  But also not turning a cold shoulder and walking away.  This little fact helped bring Bucky back to Earth and he relaxed enough, still sniffling and still feeling miserable.

“Do you mean what you said?”  Steve asked.  His voice was scarily dispirited, so Bucky honestly couldn’t tell if he was mad or sad.  “That you’ll do anything?”

“Yes.”  Bucky answered immediately, relief flooding through him. 

Steve nodded thoughtfully, chewing his lip before speaking again.  “I need you to let me go.”

Bucky felt his heart drop as that relief turned to dread.  “What?”

“I need you to let me go.”  Steve repeated.  “Don’t try to call me, don’t try to text me.  Just let me go and forget I ever existed.”

Let Steve go? Forget he _existed_?

Bucky wants to scream, he wants to fight, he wants to prove that he can make things right.

But Steve is staring at him and Bucky takes a second to really look back.  He is immediately drawn to his bright blue eyes, completely unforgettable and now overflowing with tears.  He sees how Steve is curled in on himself, his arms wrapped tight as if he is just barely holding himself together.  He sees how Steve is shaking ever so slightly, his shoulders trembling against the sobs that are threatening to escape.

Bucky sees a broken man.  And he did that to Steve.

Is this what rich people do? Give into their inner monsters and hurt the people he loves the most?

Bucky is rich, and he's done everything a rich person does. But he will do whatever Steve wants.  It is the very least he can do, even if it’ll kill him.

"Okay Stevie." Bucky whispered, sniffling and holding back a sob. "I won't bother you again."

Steve nodded, his face screwing up in pain. He swallowed thickly and tried to compose himself, but the pain was still on his face. "Thank you James." He held out his hand, a symbol of peace and the final step to their arrangement. So formal and final and heart-wrenching at the same time. 

Bucky stepped forward and shook Steve's slightly shaking hand, trying to catalog the feel of their hands held tight together. He stared deeply into Steve's blue blue eyes, knowing that this would be the last time he would ever see something so beautiful.

Steve asked Bucky to forget he ever existed but that will be impossible for Bucky.  Steve isn’t just some guy that Bucky was in love with.  Steve was everything good and pure and kind, that’s something you can’t just forget.  It’s not something Bucky will ever want to forget.

Too soon, way too soon Steve let go. His hand slipped from Bucky's and without another word, he turned and walked away.

Bucky was rooted to the spot, watching The One leave him forever. His ears were ringing, his chest tightening, the whole world around him collapsing, but he stood still, watching Steve's retreating figure walk away from him forever.

It wasn't until Steve became a tiny dot in the distance that Bucky lost it. He brought the hand that shook Steve’s to his heart, while bringing the other to his face to try and muffle the sound of his anguished sobs and erratic gulps of breath. He fell onto the bench and folded into himself, clutching at the physical ache he felt where his heart used to be. All that was left was an empty void.

Is this what rich people do? Fly higher and higher until they crash and drown?

Because Bucky didn't want that anymore. He wanted out.

"Nick, please. If you're out there somewhere please just help me." Bucky knew it was a long shot but he really had no idea what to do anymore. His guiding light had left him, his anchors had set him loose, and he has lost his complete purpose in life.

"Nick please!"

"You don't have to yell."

Bucky gave a startled yelp, high pitched and watery. Nick had appeared out of nowhere (again) and was glaring at Bucky through one eye.

"You rang?”

Bucky nodded, sniffling. "I can't do this anymore. I didn't know that this would be my life if I was rich."

Nick just gave Bucky a stern look, still impressive with only one eye. "I tried to warn you, I gave you a chance to back out."

"I know," Bucky said miserably. "I just can't do this without Steve." Fresh tears began to fall. "Or my parents, or god, my sister! I don't even have a sister anymore! My whole life is ruined." Bucky broke down crying again, his shoulders shaking. He felt a light pat on his shoulder and saw Nick sitting there look awkward.

"I don't do very well with people crying. So...just stop crying."

Bucky nodded and took a few breaths, the cool air filling his lungs. The tears eventually stopped falling, but Bucky still felt strung out and very sensitive.

"I'm sorry, I thought my life would be better if I had money. But I was greedy - I've always been greedy. Steve tried to tell me not to be." Bucky paused, because just saying Steve's name brought another wave of tears. "I wish I knew what I had. I didn't have money, but I had my parents and my sister and my Steve." Bucky sniffled. "Nick I don't know what to do. Please, whatever you can do. Help me."

Nick gazed at Bucky thoughtfully. After a few minutes of this he finally nodded. "Okay, I really think you have learned your lesson."

Bucky paused in wiping his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"I can put you back in your old life." Nick replied.

Bucky couldn't believe his ears. He sputtered nonsense, not daring to get his hopes too high. "Wha-wha-wha?"

"Bucky," Nick started with a sigh. "The very first time I met you, you were greedy. Just as you said, you wanted more and you didn't see what you had in front of you. You were about to go down a dark and dangerous road, one that was only going to end badly for you and the people you love."

"What was going to happen?" Bucky asked in a hushed tone.

"That's classified." Nick paused and he waited for Bucky to nod before he continued. "I saw you heading down that path, so I wanted to show you what greed gets you. I will say the life you're living now is an extreme exaggeration of what could've happened to you. But it showed what greed can do - you push people away and do whatever you can for more.

"Let’s call the Bucky I first met Bucky A, and the Bucky in this world Bucky B. The world that Bucky B grew up in was tailored to the specifications desired by Bucky A - two huge places to live, a lot of money, parents with successful jobs, and you had Steve.

"So I let Bucky B live his life how he wanted, and instead of making the decisions that the old you, Bucky A, would've made, Bucky B got selfish and greedy.

"When I met you and you begged for this life, I set you into Bucky B's timeline at the exact age, so that you had to deal with the repercussions of Bucky B's decisions. 

"Now, let's say the old you, Bucky A, refused my offer and remained in his world. Bucky A is still greedy and selfish, but bitter because he isn't given the chance to show what he could do if he had money. Selfishness, greed and bitterness reside within him, and Bucky A meets an unfortunate end sooner than he would've wanted."

Bucky's eyes widened. Unfortunate end? If could really only mean one thing, but just the thought of it gave Bucky chills so he didn't think to ask again.

"Yeah," Nick said nodding. "You could see why I wanted to intervene as soon as possible. And I'm glad you took my offer, because now you have a chance to become someone new."

"Like Bucky C?" Bucky asked.

"Yeah, something like that. However, you could stay here and try to rebuild your life. You have money and wealth, something Bucky A had dreamed about for his whole life."

Bucky thought to himself, silently contemplating. Despite everything that has transpired in the last 48 hours, part of him still yearned for this life. He was rich, and money could buy happiness, right?

But Bucky thought of the times he was happy here, and they all boiled down to one person. His Steve.

"I don't want to stay here." Bucky said finally. "I can't stay here."

Nick nodded in approval. "Good, that's what I wanted to hear. Now take this warning - the old Bucky, Bucky A, won't ever disappear. You still can revert to your old ways and if you do I can't help you again. And I mean it this time. So don't be a stupid idiot."

Bucky nodded. He thought of himself, or more like his selves. There was the Bucky A, greedy, selfish and bitter. And there was the Bucky B, still greedy and selfish, but ruthless till the end. But there was another figure in his mind, blurry but still there. Bucky knew it would be Bucky C. He won't know how this one will turn out, but Bucky will do everything he can to make it the last Bucky.

"Are you ready?" Nick asked. His hand was outstretched towards Bucky's head.

"Wait," Bucky said quickly. "Why did you do this to me?"

Nick didn't say anything, lowering his hand. "To put it in simple terms, my spirit has been tied to your soul for eons. And it is my responsibility to ensure that your soul lives a fulfilling life every time."

"Wait, like in reincarnation? Or are you an angel or something?"

Nick shrugged. "Call it whatever you want. But there have been times, old and new, where I thought to step in but didn't. I'm supposed to let you live your best life, but even though you were happy, it wasn't your best life."

"Huh." Bucky wasn't sure what else to say. Maybe a thank you?

"You don't have to thank me." Nick said firmly. Bucky looked astounded for a second before Nick rolled his eyes. "My spirit, your soul, tied together for eternity." He shook his head. "Stepping in like this is not normal but also not unheard of. So I was serious when I said I couldn't help again. But I am always with you, here to help when I can."

"So you are pretty much like my fairy godmother."

Nick exhaled loudly and shook his head in annoyance. "Fine. Just this once. I guess I am your...fairy godmother."

Bucky smiled at Nick's disgruntled face. "Oh I'm sure you've told my soul that before. A thousand years ago, maybe two?"

"Are you ready to go back or no?"

Bucky smiled again, thinking of his parents and his sister and his Steve.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

Nick reached forward, and Bucky felt a gentle press to his forehead before passing out.


	7. Chapter 7

Bucky's mom smiled and patted his cheek again. "You must've had good dreams last night. Well get dressed, I have breakfast for you. But you'll have to hurry if you want to catch Steve."

Bucky perked up at the mention of Steve's name. His Steve, his boyfriend.

Suddenly Bucky was a whirlwind, getting dressed at breakneck speed and brushing his teeth ferociously.

As he raced past the kitchen his mom called him back. "You're still good to watch Becca tonight right?"

"Of course!" Bucky was jumping on one foot while trying to get his shoes on, his backpack swinging wildly. He desperately needed to see Steve but he found himself excited to spend time with Becca. "And were gonna watch all of her favorite movies too!"

Bucky's mom smiled. "You should invite Steve over if his mom isn't home tonight."

Bucky paused in tying his sneaker, waiting for the uncomfortable feeling of having Steve in his tiny apartment. But it never came and Bucky never felt better.

"Maybe I will. I gotta go, love you so much!"  He opened and closed the door quickly and ran down the stairs. He felt a pulse in his pocket, and he reached in to grab his phone.

He had three missed calls and five texts. Four of the texts and all calls were from Zola, demanding for Bucky to come to work. But the last text was from his father, already at work.

He deleted everything from Zola, including his number, but checked the message from his dad.

Dad:

Thank you again for watching Becca tonite. You've always stepped up and done more than your fair share, and I'm very proud of all that you do

Bucky re-read the message as he walked, trying to think of something equally thoughtful to send back when he heard his name.

"Bucky!"

He'd recognized that happy voice anywhere.

Bucky's head snapped up and his eyes immediately found Steve. He was standing on the corner and waving in Bucky's direction.

His heart did a flip flop and before he knew it he was sprinting towards the other boy.

"Hey Bu-oof." Steve's greeting was cut off by Bucky nearly tackling Steve with a hug around his middle. This was his real Steve, the one who loved him unconditionally and would do anything for Bucky.

Bucky couldn't do more than just giggle and repeat Steve's name. "Steve, Steve you're my Stevie."

"Uh hey Bucky? People are staring."

"Let them stare."

Steve chuckled but pulled Bucky up so he could wrap his arms around Steve's shoulders. He had a better view of Steve's eyes so Bucky didn't complain.

"You okay this morning?" Steve asked gently, his arms warm and heavy around Bucky's waist.

Bucky thought back to the last time he saw Steve - red-rimmed eyes, miserable face, leaving Bucky forever. Bucky never wanted to see that Steve ever again, so of course he was more than happy to see his boyfriend.

"I am way better now." Bucky said, hugging Steve. He rested his face against Steve's neck, smiling when Steve hummed.

"Did you miss me that much?" Steve asked with a smile in his voice.

"You have no idea." Bucky pulled Steve into a deep kiss, right there on the sidewalk. But he pulled away quickly. "Quick question, you're not thinking about dating Brock Rumlow, are you?"

Steve laughed. "What? No, of course not."

Bucky smiled and smushed his face against Steve's. "Ok good, just checking."

Steve laughed again, his breath warm on Bucky's face. "God you're such a weirdo, but I love you."

Bucky's grin grew and he looked back into Steve's eyes. "You love me?"

"Of course I do." Steve's face lost its amusement but his eyes were gentle. "I love you Bucky."

"I love you too, Steve." Bucky kissed Steve again, pouring as much love as humanly possible into the gesture.

Bucky used to like his life. He used to think about what the rich people did. But now he doesn't. And now he loves his life.

END

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go! I've had this fic idea in my head for a while, the story is complete so I'll post chapters every few days or so. I hope y'all enjoy, please let me know what you think!!! :) :) :)


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